WELCOME to Tuesday January 8, 2013. More Definitions……
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study found that bacon and freshly baked bread are Americans’ favorite smells. Yeah, this morning instead of putting on cologne, I just rubbed my neck with a B.L.T.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A woman in California is being studied because she says she remembers everything from the last 12 years. And I’m thinking, ‘Wait a minute isn’t that every woman?'” -Dave Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A stock analyst and a Wall Street broker went to the racetrack. The broker suggested betting $12,000 on a certain horse. The analyst was skeptical; he had never been to the races before and wanted to understand the rules and look over all the horses before placing a wager. “You’re too cautious and detail-oriented,” the broker criticized as he placed his large bet. His horse won and he raked in a bundle of money. “What’s your secret?” the analyst asked. “It’s simple,” the broker explained. “I have two kids… ages two and six…so I add their ages together and bet on number nine.” “But two and six is eight, not nine!” protested the analyst. “See!” the broker replied, “I told you you’re too cautious and detail-oriented.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? Mrs. White: ‘Are you a cop?’ Mr. Green: ‘No I’m a plant.’ Miss. Scarlet: ‘A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.’
Answer: Clue! This was the part in the movie where the guests in the house found out that Mr. Green was an undercover government agent. Leslie Ann Warren played the role of Miss Scarlet in this movie, based on a board game, where you have to figure out who killed who, with what weapon.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m a Mawg: half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.’-
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
We’re all nuts .. can you name us?
1. Big country in South America.
2. A pod is my pad.
3. This came down in Germany.
4. Confection ingredient.
5. Sneaking a look-on.
6. Gorillas show dominance by beating this.
7. May be found in the company of a witch.
Scoring: 1-3 right. Sorry, you’re normal. 4-5 right. I’m beginning to worry about you! 6-7 right. Definitely certifiable nut expert!
ANSWER: 1. Brazil 2. Peanut 3. Walnut (The Berlin wall) 4. Coconut 5. Pecan (Peek on)
6. Chestnut (Gorillas drum on their chest as a threat) 7. Hazelnut (Witch Hazel)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What do the following group of names have in common?
Ciccone
LaPiere
Nelson
Sumner
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! 
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The World According to the Eucman! 