WELCOME to Wednesday January 9, 2013.  Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know…

 

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race… you’re a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework… you’re a pansy.

 

If you work too hard… there’s never any time for her.

If you don’t work enough… you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

 

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay… this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay… you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

 

If you get a promotion ahead of her… that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you… it’s equal opportunity.

 

If you mention how nice she looks… it’s sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet… it’s male indifference.

 

If you cry … you’re a wimp.

If you don’t… you’re insensitive.

 

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear…you’re a pervert.

If you don’t… you’re gay.

 

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape…you’re sexist.

If you don’t … you’re unromantic.

 

If you try to keep yourself in shape… you’re vain.

If you don’t… you’re a slob.

 

If she has a headache… she’s tired.

If you have a headache… you don’t love her anymore.

 

If you want it too often… you’re oversexed.

If you don’t… there must be someone else.

 

Bottom Line… Men die first because they want to. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 

 “This is like deja vu all over again.” 

– Yogi Berra 

 

“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” 

– Steven Wright 

 

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” 

– Mark Twain 

One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you’re carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways — unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on. 

 

The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality.

 

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.” -Beryl Pfizer, American journalist

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students: Why do people choose to have their children, rather than their siblings, inherit their estate? After students offered various theories, one fellow raised his hand. “This may be a bit off the point,” he said, “but when I was little, when my brother and sister finished playing with me, they would put me into a drawer.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m a Mawg: half man, half dog. I’m my own best friend.’-

Answer: Spaceballs! John Candy (Barf) said this to Princess Vespa (Daphne Zuniga) and her droid, Dot. Barf was carrying the Princess’ luggage onto Lonestar’s ship and she asked what he was. Only Mel Brooks can come up with both comedy and science fiction mixed together. 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from??? ‘If I’m not back in five minutes… Wait longer.’

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

What do the following group of names have in common?

 

Ciccone

LaPiere

Nelson

Sumner

ANSWER: These are the formal or birth names of musicians/entertainers who are famous enough to be known only by a single name. Madonna – Madonna Louise Ciccone, or now Madonna Ciccone Ritchie

Cher – Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPiere

Prince – Prince Rogers Nelson

Sting – Gordon Matthew Sumner

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

If you like pretty gems that sparkle and shine,

I invite you to dig in my virtual mine.

My first is purple, fit for a king,

My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.

My third is red, July’s birthstone as well,

My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.

My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,

My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat’s eye.

Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April’s stone,

Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.

Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,

And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.