WELCOME to Friday January 11, 2013. Tips to improve your writing….
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren’t necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don’t never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.
Peter Sellers

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
Augusten Burroughs

It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
Isaac Asimov

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then–we elected them.
Lily Tomlin

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time. Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be unor confusing. So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting. This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby?
Pugsley: We don’t hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Wednesday: Especially his head.

Answer: Addams Family Values!

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Thurday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that would fit in the middle of pair that would create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended. Example: EVER ______ HORN Answer: EVER _ GREEN – HORN

TOP ——- TAIL
RAM ——- RIDGE
SAFE ——- RAIL
ANSWER: TOP – COAT – TAIL
RAM – PART – RIDGE
SAFE – GUARD – RAIL

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Recently, Snow White’s seven dwarfs met up with three of their friends and went to the cinema to see Bambi. From the clues below, can you determine the order in which they stood in the ticket queue?

Grumpy was in front of Dopey. Stumpy was behind Sneezy and Doc. Doc was in front of Droopy and Happy.
Sleepy was behind Stumpy, Smelly and Happy.
Happy was in front of Sleepy, Smelly and Bashful.
Bashful was behind Smelly, Droopy and Sleepy.
Sneezy was in front of Dopey. Smelly was in front of Grumpy, Stumpy and Sneezy.
Dopey was in front of Droopy.
Sleepy was in front of Grumpy and Bashful.
Dopey was behind Sneezy, Doc and Sleepy.
Stumpy was in front of Dopey. Smelly was behind Doc.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.