WELCOME to Tuesday January 15, 2013. Arkansas Engineering Exam ..
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people in the South. We challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam administered by the University of Arkansas Engineering Department:

Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum.
Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A ‘65 Ford Fairlane, a ‘69 Chevrolet Chevelle or a ‘64 Pontiac GTO.

If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

A front porch is constructed of 2×8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man’s land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Today, members of the 113th Congress were sworn in at the Capitol. After which, they were like, ‘Well, that’s enough work for the year.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new poll, Congress is now less popular than head lice, Nickelback, and Donald Trump. In a related story, head lice is insulted that it’s being lumped in with Donald Trump and Nickelback.” -Conan O’Brien

“Alabama won the college football championship game. It was a tough loss for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. If only Irish people had some kind of tradition of drowning their sorrows in something, it would have been much easier.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave “right now”at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling. On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. “Look at your mom,” he said. “She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater.” From the back I heard, “Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup.” My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, “Nobody looks at her.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? Spaulding: (to two ladies) Let’s get married! Mrs. Rittenhouse: The three of us? Why, that’s bigamy! Spaulding: Yes! And it’s big of me, too!

Answer: Animal Crackers (1930), the second of many classic Marx Brothers films (their first film was The Cocoanuts (1929), also for Paramount Studios), was the last to be taken from one of their stage successes and the last to be filmed on the East Coast on Astoria sound stages before they transferred to Hollywood. The comic madness of the Marx Brothers in this early talkies-era film is typical of all their films – an intrusive and silly plot – an excuse for numerous verbal ad-libs and elliptical dislocations, criticism of sophisticated and affected high-society life, expository dialogues and battles (notably between Groucho and Chico), and downright funny sequences.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Well Hermione, you’re a girl.’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Make CARP (fish) evolve into GOAT (mammal) by changing one letter at a time. Each change must produce a valid word in the English language. But there is a catch. The evolution must go through NEWT (amphibian) and CROW (bird). No word can be used more than once. CARP —-> NEWT —-> CROW —-> GOAT

ANSWER: CARP <<<<< CART PART PAST PEST NEST NEWT <<<<< NEAT SEAT SLAT SLAW CLAW CRAW
CROW <<<<< CROP CHOP CHAP CHAT COAT GOAT <<<<<

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence a word is concealed, such as the word no in sentence five. If you can find the buried words and read them in order from 1 to 6, they will form a well-known proverb.

1.The word buried here has only one letter.
2.Did you find a jelly roll in Gaskin's Bakery?
3.It's the best one I've ever seen.
4.The rug at her stairway was made in India.
5.He's an old friend.
6.Amos sold his bicycle to a friend.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.