WELCOME to Wednesday January 16, 2013. More Pondering….
If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

Is it OK to use the a.m. radio after noon?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle before lethal injections?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypads of drive-up ATM’s?

Why is that when you transport something by car it’s called shipment, but when you transport something by ship it’s called cargo?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Resolutions just set you up for failure. My resolution last year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos.” -Craig Ferguson

“What happened to the fiscal cliff? Are we on it or off it? Forget it. The debt ceiling is the brand new crisis. The fiscal cliff was just the warm-up, just for beginners, like a student film.” -Dave Letterman

“The White House has announced that the theme for President Obama’s second inauguration will be ‘Faith in America’s Future.’ The idea is to get our minds off of America’s present.” -Jay Leno

“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.”
– Thomas Jefferson

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
– George Burns

“In love, one and one are one.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today.” The first student raised her hand to volunteer. “Marcy,” the teacher said. “You may go first.”
Marcy replied, “My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny.” The teacher said, “Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?” Kevin stood up and announced, “My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie.” “Very good,” the teacher told Kevin. Jeff was next, and he said, “My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no…” Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again. Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next. Johnny said, “My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell “accountant.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Well Hermione, you’re a girl.’

Answer: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie!

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “That business before when that tall guy, what’s-his-name, was trying to bait me? That doesn’t prove anything. I’m a pretty excitable person. I mean, where does he come off calling me a public avenger, sadist and everything? Anyone in his right mind would blow his stack. He was just trying to bait me.” “He did an excellent job.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence a word is concealed, such as the word no in sentence five. If you can find the buried words and read them in order from 1 to 6, they will form a well-known proverb.

1.The word buried here has only one letter.
2.Did you find a jelly roll in Gaskin’s Bakery?
3.It’s the best one I’ve ever seen.
4.The rug at her stairway was made in India.
5.He’s an old friend.
6.Amos sold his bicycle to a friend.

ANSWER: A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
7 dogs were boarding at the local Pet Lodge. Each dog was in a separate run, all in a single row. One of the employees left the cages unlocked and the dogs have all gotten out of their runs. She needs to put each of them back in the right cage, but this is all she remembers. Help her get them in the right cages, and QUICK! Dogs: Beau, Duke, Fluffy, Lady, Princess, Rover, and Spike

1. Spike doesn’t like other dogs much, so he was on one of the ends.

2. Princess was somewhere to the left of Beau.

3. Rover was in the third run from the right.

4. The only dog between Fluffy and Lady was Princess.

5. Duke was directly to the left of Lady.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SUPER SOLVING!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.