WELCOME to Wednesday January 24, 2013. The Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie.
1. We know where you live.

2. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.

3. Everyone’s meal today is on you!

4. The “special sauce” came from the floor!

5. Guess what our special “drop” was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!

6. Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.

7. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.

8. Your dog Sparky…he’s no longer missing.

9. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.

10. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus….maybe.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Actress Megan Fox compared fame to being bullied in high school. I agree. I’ll never forget that day in high school when jocks cornered me in the gym and paid me millions of dollars to star in ‘Transformers.'” -Conan O’Brien

“I asked my doctor yesterday what the difference is between a cold and the flu and he said, ‘About $80.'” -Dave Letterman

“MGM is coming out with a remake of the classic 1959 film ‘Ben-Hur.’ You can tell it’s a remake because instead of being about a Jewish prince who is betrayed by his Roman friend, sent into slavery, and then seeks revenge � it’s just about sexy vampires.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
I was the nurse caring for a couple’s newborn first child, a son, after his cesarean birth. Since the mother was asleep under general anesthesia we took our tiny charge directly to the newborn nursery to introduce him to his daddy. While cuddling his son for the first time, he noticed the baby’s ears conspicuously standing out from his head. He expressed his concern that some kids might call his son names like “Dumbo.” The pediatrician reassured the new dad that his son was healthy, the ears could be easily corrected later during childhood. The father still worried about his wife’s reaction to those large protruding ears. “She doesn’t take things as easily as I do,” he worried. By this time, the new mother was ready to meet her precious son. I placed the tiny bundle in his mother’s arms and eased the blanket back so that she could gaze upon her child for the first time. She took one look at her baby’s face and looked to her husband and gasped, “Oh, Honey! Look! He has your ears!”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold!”

Answer: Some Like it Hot” (1959) was directed by Billy Wilder. A madcap farce about two guys who witness Chicago gangland executions, so they dress up as women musicians to escape the Mob. The two guys are played by Tony Curtis (Joe – ‘Josephine’) and Jack Lemmon (Jerry – ‘Daphne’). Marilyn Monroe appears as Sugar Kane Kowalczyk. Sugar Kane is a ditzy blonde who wasn’t at the front of the queue when god was dishing out the brains. The above quote is her reaction when she receives a gift of a diamond bracelet.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “A fella could mistake you for a half-breed.” “Not quite, I’m eighth Cherokee, the rest is Welsh and English. At least that’s what they tell me.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

ANSWER: Across the Seven Seas. A Cross (the ‘t’ shape) The seven seas (sea is spelled seven times in that cross)

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

This word has 10 letters namely

1234567890

1234 – carries heredity
456 – is a period of time
567 – is a pest
and 890 – is a charged particle
What is the word?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.