WELCOME to Wednesday February 6, 2013. MORE PUNOGRAPHY…
Getting braces : Putting your money where your mouth is .

Did you hear about the nuclear scientist who swallowed some uranium ? He got atomic ache .

Epitaph in a dog cemetery : “He never met a man he didn’t lick “.

Squirrel’s NEST: A Nutcracker Suite.

Social Diseases : Germs of endearment .

If Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey , what would Delaware ? Idaho, Alaska .

What’s the funniest animal in the world ? A stand-up chameleon .

When Eve went streaking through the Garden of Eden, Adam declared that she was absent without leaf .

“One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian”. “Are you Shah ? ” “Sultanly “.

She was only a moonshiner’s daughter, but he loved her still .

When high heels went out of style, it was a big letdown .

If you fall asleep while reading and sunbathing, you’re well red .

Dermitologists start their practices from scratch .

When you go to the dentist and get braces, you’r eputting your money where your mouth is .

What do cats call mice on skateboards ? Meals on wheels .

Archeology students who study the plumbing of ancient Egypt are Pharaoh faucet majors .

Artificial fish : A plastic sturgeon .

Atheists are people with no invisible means of support .

Atheism is a non-prophet organization .

What do you get when you cross Dracula with a pig ? A hampire !

Do turtles wear people neck sweaters ?

One surgeon arguing with another : Suture self .

What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to ? Plymouth Rock !

Dieting : The triumph of mind over platter .

The explorer came down from the North Pole . When he reached the last Lapp, he knew he was at the
Finnish line .

Who comes from down south, is very prejudiced ,and works for Santa Claus ?
Rudolph the redneck reindeer .

It’s easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it .

Ego : I-dolatry , Garlic : A food never eaten by those practicing breath control .

Illegal : A sick bird . Thongs . What Thinatra things . Lamb : An animal that gets more sheepish with age .

Four Mexicans in quicksand : Quatro sinko .

Two silkworms were in a race . They ended up in a tie .

There were two weevils who rew up on a farm down south . One was very bright and ambitious, went to
Harvard and MIT and became a famous scientist . The other stayed on the farm and never amounted to anything. He became known as the lesser of two weevils .

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A lot of people make money off of weddings, such as caterers, photographers, and divorce lawyers.” -Craig Ferguson

“Hard to believe it’s February. The Super Bowl is over. The football season is over. You know what that means guys… It’s time to take down those Christmas lights.” –Jay Leno

“A new study found that running for two minutes is just as good for you as working out for 90 minutes. That doesn’t sound like a study it sounds like something a chubby guy says after being on the treadmill for two minutes.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One cold night my furnace died, so I went to my parents’ house. In the morning, a neighbor called to tell me that my water pipes had burst and flooded my town house and hers. I raced home and on the way got a speeding ticket. Then the furnace repairman arrived and told me he didn’t think he had the proper fuse but would check in his truck. Meanwhile, the plumber cut holes in my bathroom wall to locate the leak. When the furnace repairman returned, he held aloft a fuse. “I had the right one after all,” he said triumphantly. “This must be your lucky day.”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Isn’t there anybody in this town that’s not afraid of Craig Belden?”
“Sure! Graveyard’s full of them!”

Answer: “Last Train from Gun Hill” (1959) was directed by John Sturges. Marshall Matt Morgan (Kirk Douglas) and Craig Beldon (Anthony Quinn) are old friends, but when Morgan’s wife is murdered he discovers that the murderer is Beldon’s wayward son (played by Earl Holliman). Morgan arrests the son and attempts to get him out of town on the last train from Gun Hill. However, Beldon and his men are out to stop him, and the townspeople are too fearful to provide assistance. The quoted scene is where Morgan is talking to a bartender in the Horseshoe saloon.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I told you boys that I’m no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I’ve got me a decoy – Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes – exactly five minutes – to get Dunbar out of that water tank. And then you throw Price out onto the compound, nice and loud. He’ll draw every light from every goon tower. It’s our only chance to cut through”.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I was on a road trip with a friend when we drove past a very tall radio tower. I told my friend “That thing has to be at least a thousand feet tall!” He looked out the window for a moment, and said “I’ll bet it’s closer to 1500 feet.” We stopped at a gas station and asked how tall the tower was, and it was exactly 1500 feet tall! Now that I owe my friend a steak dinner, how could he tell how tall the tower was?

ANSWER: Radio towers are always painted with alternating red and white stripes. If the tower is over 700 feet tall, every stripe is 100 feet high. My friend just counted the 15 stripes and knew immediately it was 1500 feet tall. This only works if it’s over 700 feet; if it’s under 700 feet, the tower will always have seven stripes. Bonus Factoid: The top stripe on the tower is always red.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Seven letters are we,
Four different words we make.
Guess us or be ridiculed;
Your reputation’s at stake.

The first has pictures,
Paintings and such.
The second causes sneezing,
From ragweed or dust.
The third is an adverb,
It’s hard to explain
It’s the same as immensely
But it’s much more plain.
If you can act like a king,
this word you will sing.

These clues are sparse
This riddle may be tough.
But if you are smart
Then it will be enough.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ MY FAVORITE LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com.