WELCOME to Friday February 15, 2013. Male/Female Definitions…..

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female…..Any part under a car’s hood.
Male………The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female…..Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male……….Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female…..The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male……….Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female…..A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male………Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
Female…..A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male………Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female…..An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male………A source of entertainment, self-statement, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female…..The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male………Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up togather.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female…..A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male……….A device for scanning through all 175 channels.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Valentine’s Day is weird. A nude flying baby that shoots arrows isn’t a holiday. It’s a horror movie.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a leaked report from an upcoming U.N. study on climate change, solar activity may play a greater role in global warming than previously thought. The sun may be involved in global warming. It’s always the last place you’d think, isn’t it?” -Jay Leno

“Anybody in town for the Westminster Kennel Club’s dog show? The winner of the dog show gets a beautiful blue ribbon and a toilet full of champagne.” -David Letterman

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, “I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had.” The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek. Then she said, “I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.” The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders. The elderly woman then stated,” I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.” This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the livingroom his wife asked, “Was it something I said, where are you going?” The old man looked at her and replied, “I’m going to the bathroom to get my teeth!”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Thirty packets of ketchup.”

Answer: Big Daddy! Sonny Koufax (Adam Sandler) is a lazy, irresponsible man-child in “Big Daddy” (1999), when a five-year old Julian (played by twins Dylan and Cole Sprouse) shows up at his front door looking for his biological father (who was actually Sonny’s roommate, Kevin). Sonny lets Julian stay with him, and eventually wants to adopt him, though the law wouldn’t allow it. He learns to be a great father for Julian, but at first, he was a much more laissez-faire parent, and didn’t make Julian bathe or go to school, and let him eat thirty packets of ketchup for lunch.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Isn’t it weird how chairs exist even when you’re not sitting on them?” and “Please take the chairs away. I don’t like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.”.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence, an animal is concealed. The first sentence has dog concealed. Can you find the others?
1. What shall I do, Gertrude?
2. Asking nutty questions can be most annoying.
3. A gold key is not a common key.
4. Horace tries in school to be a very good boy.
5. People who drive too fast are likely to be arrested.
6. Did I ever tell you, Bill, I once found a dollar?
7. John came late to his arithmetic class.
8. I enjoy listening to music at night.

ANSWER: 1. Dog 2. Gnu 3. Monkey 4. Beaver 5. Bear 6. Lion 7. Camel 8. Cat

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
There are seven parts to this riddle,
Each is part of a greater whole.
You see most of these,
Everyday as you please:

First is what I did to a book yesterday,
Second mixes with apples.
Third is a shout, then “ouch” you say,
Fourth shares the sound of mean.
Fifth is what the wind had done,
The sixth is often skipped.
The last and final can be called by two names,
If roses are this, then which is the blue one?

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTERS OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING LADIES!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.