WELCOME to Monday February 17, 2013. ANGRY NOTES…..

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a Witch.
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…”
Just saying…
Sincerely, Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely, BP

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain… no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy, ok?
Sincerely, The Mayans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Elayne Boosler

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Casey Stengel

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. Bill Cosby

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A hooded robber burst into a Bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The Robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?” There are a few moments of utter silence, in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, “My wife got a good look at you.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Isn’t it weird how chairs exist even when you’re not sitting on them?” and “Please take the chairs away. I don’t like them. The big one is staring at me and that short one is being very droll.”

Answer: Knocked Up! In “Knocked Up” (2007), Ben (Seth Rogan) meets Alison (Katherine Heigl) at a bar and they go home together. Their one night stand turns into a much more complicated situation when Alison realizes she is pregnant. Alison and Ben have a big fight in the movie, and he takes off to Las Vegas with Alison’s brother-in-law, Pete (Paul Rudd). While in Vegas, the guys take magic mushrooms and enjoy a Cirque de Soleil show before going back to their hotel room where they discover that there are five different types of chairs just in that one suite.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Did Doogie Howser just steal my car?

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
There are seven parts to this riddle,
Each is part of a greater whole.
You see most of these,
Everyday as you please:

First is what I did to a book yesterday,
Second mixes with apples.
Third is a shout, then “ouch” you say,
Fourth shares the sound of mean.
Fifth is what the wind had done,
The sixth is often skipped.
The last and final can be called by two names,
If roses are this, then which is the blue one?

ANSWER: The 7 Colors of the Rainbow!
Red: read a book
Orange: apples and oranges
Yellow: Yell and Ow
Green: Rhymes with “Mean”
Blue: The wind “blew”
Indigo is often skipped
Violet: Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
The following sentences can be completed by adding two words that are anagrams of one another. Each word has only four letters. Enjoy!

1. If you prick your finger while picking a ____, it may be very ____.

2. If you take a ____ at the Mad Hatter’s party, you still may not get a sip of his ____.

3. If you need some stamps, then you must ____ by the ____ office.

4. If you eat a whole ____ of a wedding cake, you may develop a spare ____ around your middle.

5. If you have a ____ with your friend, you should forgive them and focus on the future, not on the ____.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.