WELCOME to Monday February 25, 2013. Puns of the day…..
1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

2. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

4. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

5. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

6. I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.

7. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

8. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.

9. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

10. I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t get lost in the snow and don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“It’s a great day for a bunch of thieves in Belgium. They got away with more than $50 million worth of pure, uncut diamonds. This diamond heist is the biggest robbery ever pulled off at an airport if you don’t count them charging $25 to check a bag.” -Craig Ferguson

“A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, ‘I’m suing whoever’s responsible for this!’ And her professor said, ‘Don’t you mean WHOMEVER?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming when you’re driving at 11 miles-an-hour.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
In the small, family-owned store in Spokane, Washington where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are a little different from our own. One day, after parking her car across the street in an attended lot, a young woman came in. She made her purchase and then asked, “Do you give validation?” Without batting an eye, my manager replied, “You are an excellent, successful person, and I love your hair.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “With the All Spark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. And fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight, but watching over them in secret, waiting, protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage, and though we are worlds apart, like us, there’s more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars. We are here. We are waiting.”?

Answer: “Transformers” (2007) tells the story of two groups of alien robots, the Autobots (good guys) and Decepticons (bad guys), whose feud travels from their home planet, Cybertron, to Earth. They are fighting over the powerful All Spark, which gives life to machines; the Autobots fear that the Decepticons would do evil things with it. In the final battle at the end of the movie, Sam (Shia LaBeouf) destroys the All Spark while simultaneously killing Megatron, the leader of the Decepticons. Most of the Decepticons are killed in the battle, and the Autobots remain behind on Earth, disguised as vehicles. In his ending monologue, the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime, issues a call for any Autobots lost in space to come to Earth and join them. We meet some of these Autobots who seek refuge on Earth in the 2009 sequel “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).

1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.

ANSWER: 1) sea + son = season 2) ant + elope = antelope 3) pen + chant = penchant
4) cast + rate = castrate

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I quietly sit and wait
until someone moves my plate.
By then, it’s much too late
and nothing will escape
the destruction I create
because I am now awake.
Sorry, but you can’t close my gate.
My wrath you cannot sedate.
I’m not picky about what I take.
But, this promise I do make,
I always give back a rebate.
It’s best if you leave in great haste,
because next it’s you that I’ll taste!

What am I?

THE QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! SUPER SOLVING JOB KIM!

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.