WELCOME to Tuesday February 26, 2013. Knowledge gained from the movies…..

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

3) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

4) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

5) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom still still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

6) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

7) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts-your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

8) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t get lost in the snow and don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new study found that dogs are smarter than cats because their friendliness has helped them develop bigger brains. Cat people would complain about the findings, but that would involve interacting with other humans.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists at the University of Maryland say they have found a chemical that causes women to talk more than men. It’s called red wine.” -Jay Leno

“It is no secret that our economy is in the dumpster, because our economy knows the dumpster is where you can sometimes find old muffins.” -Stephen Colbert

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members. Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did. On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to try a different variety of wine. Some time passed with no consequences. Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and while holding up the empty wine glass announced in a loud voice, “James! I don’t have a headache tonight!”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. ‘Tis a silly place.’

Answer: Monty Python and the Holy Grail! “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” is a 70’s movie that mainly spoofs the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table as they search for the Holy Grail. The finally make it to Camelot and when Arthur says to ‘ride on to Camelot’, it shows the knights singing a song about spending their time in Camelot and what they do there, while also showing them dancing on tables and drumming on other knights’ helmets. This quote is said by Arthur after the song is over.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Hi. I’m Earth. Have we met?’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I quietly sit and wait
until someone moves my plate.
By then, it’s much too late
and nothing will escape
the destruction I create
because I am now awake.
Sorry, but you can’t close my gate.
My wrath you cannot sedate.
I’m not picky about what I take.
But, this promise I do make,
I always give back a rebate.
It’s best if you leave in great haste,
because next it’s you that I’ll taste!

What am I?

ANSWER: A Volcano! Plate referred to above is geological theory wherein the earth is divided into a small number of “plates” which fit on and travel independently over the mantle and much of the earth’s seismic activity occurs here. Thus, in the teaser when someone moves my plate (referring to natural causes i.e. Mother Nature) the movement or shift of that “plate” can cause seismic activity which can awaken a dormant volcano by allowing built up pressure in the form of steam and molten or hot rock to explode through vents opened when “plates” shifted or moved. The “rebate” is the land mass created as the molten rock (lava) travels and then cools. It is believed that portions of the Islands of Hawaii were created in such a manner.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) canine fur & porcine challenge
2) rock toss & to pack up royal furniture
3) arsonist’s desire & to battle a fibber
4) underground amphibian & bar rules

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.