WELCOME to Monday March 4, 2013. How the Internet Began………

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far from town to town with they goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, Dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known “ebay” he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are,” and Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO”, said Abraham. And that’s how it all began. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Elayne Boosler

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
Oliver Herford

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Bill Cosby

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A number of new inscribed tablets were found in Iraq following the invasion, and recently some of these have been translated and found to be missing sections from the creation story in the Book of Genesis. This is one excerpt from the new chapters… Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, “What is wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. He said, “This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she’ll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you’ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.” Adam asked God, “What will a woman like this cost?” God replied, “An arm and a leg.” Then Adam asked, “What can I get for a rib?”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Mickey is a mouse, Donald is a duck, Pluto is a dog. What’s Goofy?’

Answer: “Stand by Me” is based on Stephen King’s novel, “The Body”. It’s about four kids who run away for a couple days on a quest to find the body of a local kid who went missing. Gordie says this one night while they’re sitting around, discussing the things that ‘used to seem important, until they discovered girls’.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Do you think I’d speak for you? I don’t even know your language!’

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
When you were in your early school years, you can remember when you had a CRUSH on that cute girl sitting nearby. The only problem comes when you say something stupid and she SLAPS your face. Try to get from CRUSH to SLAPS in 5 steps by making a word each time.

ANSWER: CRUSH CRASH CLASH CLASS CLAPS SLAPS

Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I shake hands with many different people. Some pull me close and some push me away. In the end, they always leave me. What am I?

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.