WELCOME to Friday March 8, 2013. More Punography….

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

16. A calendar’s days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It’s perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun.” -Conan O’Brien

“These days, teachers have it rough. Kids can be hyperactive, disobedient, and obnoxious. It must feel like being locked in a room of drunk midgets.” -Craig Ferguson

“A new study found that most people cant go 10 minutes without lying. But since the study took 20 minutes nobody knows what to believe.” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One woman was talking to her friend, “You should listen to my neighbor,” she says. “She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about about him?”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘You’re just a woman with a small brain.’

Answer: “Anchorman” is about famous local news anchor, Ron Burgandy. Things are going great for him until he meets his new coworker, Veronica Corningstone. They fall in love, but things turn for the worse when Veronica takes Ron’s place on the news, one day in his absence. She’s a huge success and they hate each other from then on. Ron says this quote to Veronica during a fight in which they say stupid, meaningless insults to each other, back and forth.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have the initial sounds switched to form new words. For example, “loose morals” is a spoonerism for “moose laurels”(note that the pairs do not have to be spelled the same – only sound the same) From the definitions below can you figure out the following spoonerisms?

A quiz about a celebration….an irritating person that is never punctual

An irritated facial expression….The top of Mr. Avalon’s head

A prideful diminutive insect….An ill-behaved sombrero

Hollandaise is one….Going from one side of the street to the other in a bad part of town.

ANSWER: A party test….A tardy pest

Cranky frown….Frankie crown

A haughty gnat….A naughty hat

A creamy sauce….A seamy cross

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you identify what phrase is represented here?

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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.