WELCOME to Wednesday March 13, 2013. In Honor of Stupid People!

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) —
‘Do not turn upside down.’
(well,…duh, a bit late, huh!)
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On Sainsbury’s peanuts —
‘Warning: contains nuts.’
(talk about a news flash)
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On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine —
‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
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On a Sears hairdryer —
Do not use while sleeping.
(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Fritos —
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dial soap —
‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’
(and that would be???….)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners —
‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’
(but, it’s justa suggestion.)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron —
‘Do not iron clothes on body.’
(but wouldn’t this save me time?)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid —
‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’
(..I’m taking this because???…..)
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On most brands of Christmas lights —
‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’
(as opposed to what?)
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On a Japanese food processor —
‘Not to be used for the other use.’
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
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On an American Airlines packet of nuts —
‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child’s Superman costume —
‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’
(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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On a Swedish chainsaw —
‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to
(maybe even chuckle)…
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****Blessed are the cracked:
for it is they who let in the light*****

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A new study found that eating healthy adds $380 to your grocery bill every year. Or as Americans put it, ‘Cool, I saved $380 this year!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Food addicts are the people I feel sorriest for because that’s really hard. You need to eat. You don’t need to do drugs. Very hard for these people to quit. “I’m going cold turkey… mmmmm turkey. Do not think about food… do not think about food… do not… nuts…” -Craig Ferguson

“Researchers at Harvard say red wine can slow the aging process. They say if you drink red wine, it can help you look younger. And you can look even younger if you get the other person to drink it.” -Jay Leno

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later that day his mother noticed him lying down, curled up on the floor as though he were ill. She said, “Johnny what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m gonna have a wife!”

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.”

Answer: Back To the Future (1985) Since Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) has modified his time machine/DeLorean for flight, he and Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) won’t need any roads as they travel through the sequels to follow.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Well, I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know, they’re irrational and crazy and absurd, but I guess we keep goin’ through it because most of us need the eggs.”

TUESDAY’S MOVIE DIVIA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT JOB KIM!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this phrase:
O_er_t_o_

ANSWER: PAINLESS OPERATION

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of hints below relates to two words. One of the words is the other one spelled backward. What are the ten word pairs?
Example: married, moisture
Answer: wed, dew

1. light source, rodents
2. dwell, wicked
3. retain, sneaking look
4. weapons, tight fit
5. portion, catching device
6. prize, furniture compartment
7. drinking aid, skin blemishes
8. stopper, big swallow
9. implement, stolen goods
10. precinct, illustrate

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.