WELCOME to Friday March 15, 2013. Academic Talk……

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere!

“It has long been known” = I didn’t look up the original reference.

“A definite trend is evident” = These data are practically meaningless.

“While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions” = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.

“Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study” = The other results didn’t make any sense.

“Typical results are shown” = This is the prettiest graph.

“These results will be in a subsequent report” = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

“In my experience” = once.

“In case after case” = twice.

“In a series of cases” = thrice.

“It is believed that” = I think.

“It is generally believed that” = A couple of others think so, too.

“Correct within an order of magnitude” = Wrong.

“According to statistical analysis” = Rumor has it.

“A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings” = A wild guess.

“A careful analysis of obtainable data” = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of pop.

“It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs”= I don’t understand it.

“After additional study by my colleagues”= They don’t understand it either.

“Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions” = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.

“A highly significant area for exploratory study” = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

“It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field” = I quit.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A New York City judge struck down a proposed law to ban sodas larger than 16 ounces. How would the government try to enforce something like that? It’s not like Obama’s got a secret fleet of robotic aircraft circling over, watching everything people do with little cameras.” -Craig Ferguson

“When the cardinals are done selecting a new Pope, smoke appears up the chimney. White smoke means a new Pope. Black smoke means they have not reached a decision. Blue smoke means the cardinals are making ribs.” -David Letterman

“A new study found that humans started wearing clothes about 170,000 years ago. In fact, the first sentence ever spoken was, ‘Me look fat in this?'” -Jimmy Fallon

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Two old men were sitting together talking about the good old days. Finally one old man sighed and said “What I miss the most is playing golf. I know I can hit the ball just as good as I ever could but my eyesight has gotten so bad now that I can’t see where the ball goes!” The second old man says, “That’s the one thing that I didn’t lose as I got older! I can still see like an eagle! Tell you what, let’s go to the golf course some day and I’ll watch the ball for you and tell you where it goes.” So they get together one day and go to the golf course. On the first tee the first old man hits a great tee shot straight down the middle of the fairway. Excited he asked the second old man if he saw the shot. “I sure did, that was a good shot!” said the second old man. The first old man said, “Great! Where did it go?” The second old man said, “I forgot.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I think I’ll have a drink.”

Answer: The Untouchables (1987) US Treasury Agent Elliot Ness (Kevin Costner) gives this response when asked by a newspaper reporter what Ness will do if/when prohibition is repealed. Prohibition outlawed the manufacture, transportation or sale of alcoholic beverages in the US from 1920-1933.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I was cured, all right.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
A monk has a very specific ritual for climbing up the steps to the temple. First he climbs up to the middle step and meditates for 1 minute. Then he climbs up 8 steps and faces east until he hears a bird singing. Then he walks down 12 steps and picks up a pebble. He takes one step up and tosses the pebble over his left shoulder. Now, he walks up the remaining steps three at a time which only takes him 9 paces. How many steps are there?

ANSWER: There are 49 steps. He climbs halfway, which is step 25. He hears the bird singing on step 33. He picks up the pebble on the 21st step and tosses it on the 22nd step. The remaining 27 steps are taken three at a time which is 9 paces.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

The following are colloquialisms/idioms written in their literal form. Try to find all four.

Example: A Panthera Pardus is incapable of altering its texture. (A leopard can’t change its spots)

1. A colorless crystalline carbon existing within a uncouth environment.

2. Descending in the manner of the order of Diptera.

3. A late pop singer has departed from the premises.

4. To be delivered by metallic object that brings forth a great ringing noise.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com.