WELCOME to Monday April 15, 2013. Actual Bloopers from Church Bulletins and Services…
Our next song is “Angels We Have Heard Get High”.
Don’t let worry kill you–let the church help.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She’s used the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet should come forward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
Thursday night–Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet” in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
– George Bernard Shaw
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
– Charles M. Schulz
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
– Oscar Wilde
It is better to be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.
– Mark Twain
History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
– Napoleon Bonaparte
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
– Mark Twain
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. “Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” “Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives. “For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000.” Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked. Then the patient’s daughter asked, “Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?” “A standard pricing practice,” said the head of the team. “Women’s brains have to be marked down because they are used.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “What do they call you? ‘Wheels?’ This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Answer: X-Men! This was said by Wolverine/Logan to Charles Xavier in “X-Men”. Logan had just been rescued by Storm and Cyclops and taken to the private academy ran by Professor Xavier, who happened to be in a wheelchair. That’s why he asked if they called him ‘wheels’ as the Professor was introducing all the other students. Then when the plot about what Magneto planned was explained, Logan made the crack about it being the stupidest thing he ever heard. This movie came out in 2000 and was directed by Brian Singer. The plot revolves around two mutants who come to a private academy for mutants whose resident superhero team must oppose a powerful mutant terrorist organization. The “X-Men” are a fictional Marvel Comics superhero team. Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, they debuted in “The X-Men #1”, published in September 1963.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
he
now re
ANSWER: He came out of nowhere
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
We’ve all seen a rebus like “midstuckdle” (stuck in the middle). The following clues are “revrebuseserse” (rebuses in reverse). That is, the clues below are answers to rebuses which all use the “in” construction.
However, the original rebus from the clues below will actually form a word. For example, “Not old in actually existing” would be “renewal” (new in real). Can you solve the rest?
1. A short poem in scarlet
2. A room-dividing structure in a female pig.
3. A joining word in a close friend
4. A head of corn in grasping tightly
5. Nothing in what your eyes do
6. A wild beast’s shelter in stinking decay
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! 
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