WELCOME to Tuesday April 16, 2013. Questions about Love, Marriage, and Sex…
These questions were posed to kids ages 5 to 10. Their answers are enlightening.
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??
“Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)
“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife!” (Tom, 5)
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE??
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE??
“You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.” (Jim, 10)
“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??
“It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!” (Lynette, 9)
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)
CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)
“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)
ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
“If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long.” (Leo, 7)
ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE
“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)
“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)
“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time.” (Christine, 9)
CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS
“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off because they paid good money for them.” (Dave, 8)
CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE
“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when ‘The Simpsons’ is on television.” (Anita, 6)
“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8)
“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)
THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava, 8)
SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
“Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)
“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)
“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” (Brad, 8)
“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like how their hearts are…on fire.” (Christine, 9)
WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY “I LOVE YOU”
“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)
HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS
“You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)
“It might help to watch soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you…That’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)
HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE
“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tom, 7)
“Don’t forget your wife’s name…That will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” (Randy, 8)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A prop phaser gun from the Star Trek TV show recently sold for $231,000 at an auction making it the most expensive thing you can point at someone right before they beat the crap out of you.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Teachers at nine universities are using a new technology that can tell if students are actually reading their textbooks. Let me save you some time. They’re not.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A long list of celebrities and musicians have signed a letter to President Obama asking him to ease the nation’s drug enforcement policy. Hollywood celebrities and musicians want the president to ease our drug laws it’s always the people you least expect.” -Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five- year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.
Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, “I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator.”
To which the lady replies “Good Heavens, no! Don’t shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son’s picture on his back.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”
Answer: The Silence of the Lambs! This was said by Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lecter) to Jody Foster (Clarice Starling) as she had gone to interview him at the prison. She needed his help to track down another serial killer on the loose killing women. “The Silence of the Lambs” (1991) film won the top five Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Actor and Best Actress. At the 1992 Academy Awards, Billy Crystal made his initial appearance on stage wearing the same straitjacket and mask that Hannibal Lecter wore in the movie. He is quoted as saying that he felt he looked like the “goalie for the SAG (Screen Actors Guild) hockey team”.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “It-it’s not as if she were a–a maniac–a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?”
TODAY’S MOVIE DIVIA OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! GREAT MOVIE BUFFING KIM! 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
We’ve all seen a rebus like “midstuckdle” (stuck in the middle). The following clues are “revrebuseserse” (rebuses in reverse). That is, the clues below are answers to rebuses which all use the “in” construction.
However, the original rebus from the clues below will actually form a word. For example, “Not old in actually existing” would be “renewal” (new in real). Can you solve the rest?
1. A short poem in scarlet
2. A room-dividing structure in a female pig.
3. A joining word in a close friend
4. A head of corn in grasping tightly
5. Nothing in what your eyes do
6. A wild beast’s shelter in stinking decay
ANSWER: 1. Reversed (verse in red)
2. Swallow (wall in sow)
3. Mandate (and in mate)
4. Clearing (ear in cling)
5. Senile (nil in see)
6. Rodent (den in rot)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) no-cost fish lures & honey shipment
2) leaping legumes & colliding dungarees
3) crustacean movement & criminal sunscreen
4) baseball term & seasonal pig
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! 
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