WELCOME to Tuesday April 23, 2013. 9 words women say and we men so often hear but never get.  

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. Nothing means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

 

(4) If you want to: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

 

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

 

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 

(7) Thanks: When accompanied by a smile, then a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint, just enjoy the moment, however if the woman says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.

 

(8) I’m almost there! : This means that she’s 45 minutes away, so sit down and relax!

 

(9) Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 

“New York City is considering a law to ban people from wearing costumes in Times Square after a man dressed as the Cookie Monster shoved a little boy. In his defense, Cookie Monster said, ‘Boy not give up cookie.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Elsewhere in the news, a Swedish company was fined today after one of their assembly robots attacked a human worker. And so it begins…” -Craig Ferguson

“For those of you who aren’t familiar with Coachella, it’s a big music festival in the California desert. If you didn’t get tickets or if you’re too far away, just get high and pass out in a dumpster behind Trader Joe’s. Just like being there.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us.  “So what changed your mind?” I asked him.  “I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, ‘You’re interested in someone who’s 104?!’ 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “You wanna see a bad facelift? Helen Danvers, 2 o’clock. She looks like she’s re-entering the Earth’s atmosphere.”

Answer: The Women! These words were said by Catherine Frazier to her daughter, Mary, as the pair lunched together. The plot of the 2008 remake of the film, “The Women” (2008), revolved around the lives of a group of women, and their friendships with one and other. At the beginning of the film, fashion designer, Mary, discovered that her husband was cheating on her with a perfume salesgirl. Her friends banded together to support her, but one in particular, Sylvie, was forced to trade the details of her friend’s woes in order to keep her job. Horrified by her friend’s betrayal, Mary ended their friendship, which led to further complications, when Mary’s daughter, Molly, began to confide in Sylvie, instead of her mother. 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?” 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

 Ryan and Craig were identical twins born in Seattle in 1961. Ryan was born before Craig, but according to their birth certificates, Craig was older than Ryan. How come?

 

ANSWER: Ryan and Craig were born in the fall on the day that the clocks are set back one hour. Ryan was born at 1:45am. Craig was born 30 minutes later. Since the clocks were set back at 2am, Craig’s official time of birth was 1:15am.

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

4 people went to 4 different places at 4 different times on 4 different days.

People- Harry, Bonnie, John, Irma

Places-Hotel, Barber shop, Mall, Post Office

Times-8:30AM, 12:00PM, 4:30PM, 7:00PM

Days-Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, Tuesday

 

A woman visited the hotel on a weekday. 

The post office was visited in the morning.

Bonnie hates malls and hotels.

The local post office is closed on Tuesdays and Sundays.

Someone went to the mall at noon on Tuesday.

Irma will always be at home at 7:00PM.

Nobody will go somewhere that starts with the first letter of their first name.

John is very busy on weekdays.

Bonnie goes bowling all day on Wednesdays.

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. www.Eucman.freedom10.com.