WELCOME to Tuesday May 7, 2013. Life’s Laws……..
1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
6. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theatre & Football – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12. The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better.. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“The owner of an ice cream truck named Snow Cone Joe was arrested for allegedly stalking his rival truck, called Mr. Ding-a-Ling. It’s being called the saddest turf war ever.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study finally explains what’s wrong with young people. Researchers have proven that young people are greedy and more materialistic. The study is in something called a newspaper. It’s like a blog. But everything in it is from yesterday.” -Craig Ferguson
“A company in California has started selling a new cologne that smells like whiskey. I think my dad’s been wearing that cologne for 40 years.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
In one of my classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple – the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen.
In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by saying, “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “You’re so cool, Brewster!
Answer: Fright Night! One of my favorites, “Fright Night” is about a kid who discovers his new neighbor is a vampire. Evil(Brewster’s friend, at least before he goes all undead on him) says this to Charlie after Charlie gets some food shoved in his face by his girlfriend. Food shoved in his face, mocked by his friend, his neighbor’s a vampire – these are not the best of times for Charlie Brewster. The real question here – how exactly did Marcy Darcy land this role (she was the girlfriend)?
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “I’m the biggest hypocrite of them all – I used preservatives!”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I’m the smallest of my kind, no doubt about that;
Compared to my brothers, I seem like a rat.
A blue face have I, a blue face, you know;
It’s awfully cold here, with poisonous snow.
My name came from a god, a god with great might;
Although you know of me, I’m way out of your sight.
What am I?
ANSWER: The planet Pluto.
Stanza 1: Pluto is the smallest planet.
Stanza 2: Pluto’s surface is blue because of frozen gases. The snow is a methane and nitrogen snow that is poisonous to us.
Stanza 3: Pluto is the Roman god of the Underworld (Hades in Greek myths). Pluto is too far away to be seen from Earth (without a telescope).
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher the musical instruments represented below?
1. P O
2. BA BA
3. ECLART
4. @ # $ %
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! 
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The World According to the Eucman! 