WELCOME to Friday May 17, 2013.  Ponderings….. 

The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

 

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying.

 

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.

 

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

 

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

 

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

 

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

 

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 

 One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you’re carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways — unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on.

The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality.

“I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.” -Beryl Pfizer, American journalist

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 Before my daughter went on her first date, I gave her “the talk.” “Sometimes, it’s easy to get carried away when you are with a boy,” I said. “Remember, a short moment of indiscretion could ruin your life.” “Don’t worry,” she said. “I don’t plan on ruining my life until I get married.”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???  “There’s two kinds of people in this world: Those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.

 

Answer: Dirty Work (1998) Set in a small midwest U.S. town, Mitch Weaver (Norm MacDonald) and his best friend Sam McKenna (Artie Lange) are two misfits who “don’t take crap from anyone”, as Sam’s father, Pops McKenna (Jack Warden) taught them. While in school as young kids, they get a bully arrested for (planted) gun possession, and catch a crossing guard/pedophine kiddie-fondler in the act (with glue). As a teenager, Mitch’s single mother dies and he moves in with Sam and his father. Mitch and Sam get revenge against a spiteful meter maid by planting popcorn kernels in her car radiator, and they get revenge against a neighborhood dog that chases them to having them get a German Shepherd dog to have it’s way with the dog that attacks them. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? Veronica: This may seem like a stupid question…  JD: There are no stupid questions. Veronica: If you inherit five million dollars the same day aliens tell the earth they’re blowing us up in two days, what would you do?  JD: That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard!

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

 What expression is this?

Dopey

Doc

Wicked Witch R.I.P

Snow White R.I.P

ANSWER:  Too little, too late. 

Two little (Doc and Dopey are two of the seven dwarfs)

Two late (the other two characters from the same film are dead or late)

 

and the title?

 

High Hoe

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

You are the police chief for the city of Trunsville. Your records, all on computer, were deleted by a virus. Fortunately, you have remembered the following:

You have to get the data back before the criminals are released due to the lack of records!

Criminals: Larry, Judith, Dwayne, Nicholas, Marty.

Crime: Murder, assault, thief, robber, rape.

Sentences: 5 years, 10 years, 25 years, life, death.

Here is what you remember:

(1) Larry was the murderer.

(2) Marty got 5 or 10 years.

(3) Neither Nicholas nor Dwayne would ever leave prison alive (all others will)

(4) The lady got 25 years.

(5) Nicholas was not the thief.

(6) The thief got life.

(7) The assaulter got more than 10 years but did not get death.

(8) The rapist gets 5 years.

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. www.Eucman.freedom10.com.