WELCOME to Tuesday May 21, 2013.  

….. 

1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

 

2. The Enterprise visits a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

 

3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

 

4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new life- form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.

 

5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well- stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

 

6. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

 

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

 

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise’s computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

 

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

 

10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

 

11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some chocolate.

 

12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called “Paradise” where everyone is happy all of the time. How- ever, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

 

13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone’s satisfaction.

 

14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp ex- perience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

 

15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn’t tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

 

16. Counselor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

 

17. The warp engines start going haywire, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

 

18. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY 

“A town in Minnesota has appointed a 4-year-old boy to be its mayor. People got pretty annoyed when he said his first plan was ‘waising taxes.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“China announced it will no longer buy recycled trash from the U.S. I don’t have a joke here. I’d just like to give a round of applause to whatever genius has been selling trash to China.” -Conan O’Brien

“Tonight is the much-anticipated release of the new Star Trek movie. It is expected to make $100 million this weekend. That’s a lot, but imagine how much it would make if the people buying tickets were going with dates.” -Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn’t in yet and offered to take a message. The caller said she’d phone back later.  At 11:00 a.m., the caller tried again, and I reported that Marina had gone to lunch.  The last call came in at 3:30 p.m. “I’m sorry,” I said, “she’s left for the day. May I take a message?”  “Yes,” the caller replied. “How can I get a job with you?”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?

What movie is this quote from???   Veronica: This may seem like a stupid question…  JD: There are no stupid questions. Veronica: If you inherit five million dollars the same day aliens tell the earth they’re blowing us up in two days, what would you do?  JD: That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard!

 

Answer:  Heathers (1988). A girl who half-heartedly tries to be part of the “in crowd” of her school meets a rebel who teaches her a more devious way to play social politics.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Have you any idea what it takes to kill a human being, Mr. Weathers? I don’t mean one brute bashing in another brute’s skull out of primitive passion. I mean the measured dispassionate action that comes from absolute clarity of mind, transcends rational thought. The kind of action that springs from absolute necessity, unclouded by the restraints of conscience, mercy, pity. The kind of action that allows one to take a common, ordinary hammer and with clinical precision split a skull so cleanly that the cranium cracks right through the medulla, allowing the claw of the hammer to be used to pry back the skull cleanly, exposing the brain while the subject remains alive, even aware. Such a man is to be envied, revered, and much feared, never paralyzed by impotence of will.”

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

You are the police chief for the city of Trunsville. Your records, all on computer, were deleted by a virus. Fortunately, you have remembered the following:

You have to get the data back before the criminals are released due to the lack of records!

Criminals: Larry, Judith, Dwayne, Nicholas, Marty.

Crime: Murder, assault, thief, robber, rape.  Sentences: 5 years, 10 years, 25 years, life, death.

Here is what you remember:

(1) Larry was the murderer.

(2) Marty got 5 or 10 years.

(3) Neither Nicholas nor Dwayne would ever leave prison alive (all others will)

(4) The lady got 25 years.

(5) Nicholas was not the thief.

(6) The thief got life.

(7) The assaulter got more than 10 years but did not get death.

(8) The rapist gets 5 years.

ANSWER: Larry the murderer got 10 years. Judith the assaulter got 25 years. Dwayne the thief got life.

Nicholas the robber got death. Marty the rapist got 5 years.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you decipher the following common phrase?

T M C

A U O

H S M

W T E

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS KIM HILLYARD FOR SUPER SOLVING FRIDAY QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! GREAT JOB KIM! 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. www.Eucman.freedom10.com.