WELCOME to Wednesday July 10, 2013. Differences between men and women…
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that…… is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” -Lisa Kirk
“I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.” –Mitch Hedberg
“At the end of our first date the girl told me I was crazy in the head and I should be committed to a mental institution. Why do women always want us to make a commitment?” -Unknown
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Jill complained to Nina, “Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.”
“Well,” replied Nina in a hurt tone, “I told her not to tell you I told her.”
“Oh dear!” sighed Jill. “Well, don’t tell her I told you that he told me.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled “Cells are Bad” and both with just one paragraph, which I unfortunately committed to memory: “Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It’s ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring, old magazine everyday. The end.” Although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be I could not bring myself to put As atop those beauties.”
Answer: Evolution! This quote comes from the scene where Kane (Duchovny) is reviewing term paper grades with the class he teaches at the Community College.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “I know, I know. I’m gonna use good judgement. I haven’t lost my temper in forty years, but pilgrim you caused a lot of trouble this morning, might have got somebody killed… and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won’t, I won’t. The *heck* I won’t!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A man wanted to encrypt his password but he needed to do it in a way so that he could remember it. His password is 7 characters long. The password consists of letters and numbers only (no symbols like ! or <). In order to remember it he wrote down “You force heaven to be empty.” Can you guess what his password is?
ANSWER: U472BMT. Try prounouncing the answer “U Four Seven Two B M T”. .
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues refer to the names of several young women, in the form of Miss Suchandsuch.
These names then actually form a new word (although there will be a spelling difference with one s missing)
For example, “This young woman obeys all the rules” would be misbehave (Miss Behave)
Can you figure out the rest of the words?
1. This young woman is in great shape.
2. This young woman is very generous at Christmas.
3. This young woman showed me where to go.
4. You could tell this young woman all your secrets.
5. This young woman knew exactly what I meant.
6. This young woman is exactly the right choice.
7. This young woman could lead the orchestra.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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