WELCOME to Monday August 12, 2013. Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State.
LAW OF WAITING LINES: If you change lines, the one you have left will start to move
faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
To change what you get you must change who you are.
Vernon Howard
A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.
Joseph Joubert
It is the addition of strangeness to beauty that constitutes the romantic character in art.
Walter Hagen
Of all things visible, the highest is the heaven of the fixed stars.
Nicolaus Copernicus
The number one secret of being a successful writer is this: marry an English major.
Stephen Ambrose
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs on Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all envious. They corner him and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”
Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”
They’re knocked over, but continue to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”
Bob says, “I lied about my age.”
His friends are fascinated, “What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bob smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “That’s no moon, it’s a space station.” and “Will somebody please get this big, walking carpet out of my way.”
Answer: Star Wars! Both of these quotes are said in “Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope”. This movie is mainly about Luke Skywalker, Ben Kenobi, Han Solo, Chewbacca, C3PO and R2D2 as they go on a mission to rescue Princess Leia (an important Rebel Leader) from the Empire. It was the first “Star Wars” movie to have been released. “That’s no moon, it’s a space station.” is said by Obi Wan (Ben) Kenobi when he, Luke, Han and Chewbacca are in the Millenium Falcon and trying to locate the planet Alderaan, which had actually been blown up by the Death Star. Instead, they come across the Death Star, which is the space station belonging to the Empire. At a distance Luke mistakes the Death Star for a moon, but Obi Wan is the first to realise it is not a moon, but a space station.
“Will somebody please get this big, walking carpet out of my way?” is said by Princess Leia while she is being rescued from the Empire and is still onboard the Death Star. This is said not long after Han, Luke and Chewy escape from the garbage chute and Leia decides that they must follow her orders from now on. She is referring to Chewbacca the Wookie, who is in her way. She calls Chewy a “walking carpet” because he is tall, brown and furry!
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “Where did you come from, Planet Loser?” “As opposed to Planet Look At Me, Look At Me?”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
There are five doors, one leads to the exit, the others lead to traps. They are in a line. The clues tell you which position the doors are in the line and where the door to freedom is. All the clues are true. Each door has a clue written on it. The clues read:
The blue door: This door is two spots away from the door to freedom.
The red door: This door is at the far right, and is two spots away from the blue door.
The purple door: This door is not next to the door to freedom.
The green door: This door is left of the blue door.
The orange door: This door is not next to the red or blue doors.
Which door leads to freedom?
ANSWER: The orange door leads to freedom.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What are these?
1st January 2003 800 x 600 pixels
1st January 2004 1280 x1024 pixels
1st January 2005 1600 x 1200 pixels
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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