WELCOME to Wednesday August 21, 2013. Why English Is So Difficult…
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Anonymous
Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English;
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) There is no time like the present, he said it was time to present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have an wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Scientists have found a new link between high blood sugar and dementia. Which explains Cinnabon’s new slogan, ‘The last bite you’ll remember.'” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a Cosmo poll, 13 percent of all men admit they have tried on a bra. The sad part, 43 percent of American men actually need one.” –Jay Leno
“A new study says that women who drink moderate amounts of alcohol every day lose more weight than women that don’t drink at all. At least, that’s what your wife will slur to you after she forgets to pick up the kids from soccer practice.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Last June, my friend told me about her plans for our upcoming prom. “I’m renting a stretch limo and spending $1,000 on a new dress, and I’ve reserved a table at the most expensive restaurant in town,” she said.
Our teacher overheard her and shook her head. “I didn’t spend that much on my wedding.”
My friend answered, “I can have three or four weddings. But a prom you do only once.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Hey listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columbia, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want.”
“Like shoes?”
Answer: “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” is a great film about a newspaper article writer, Andie Anderson, who decides to date a guy and then drive him away in just 10 days by making lots of mistakes in her relationship that many women make. She does this so she can write an article on it.
Andie says the first quote to Ben, who is the guy she starts dating. Ben, who is just getting to know Andie, replies “Like shoes?”. However, Andie is actually interested in writing about politics. Andie is only dating Ben because she is writing about whatever her boss wants until she is given the freedom to write about something other than dating, gossip, and clothes. Ben does not know Andie well so he thinks that Andie is like a stereotypical woman who is just interested in things like clothes, makeup and shoes. Andie does not know that Ben had just made a bet with his friends, which involves him trying to make a woman (he chose Andie) fall in love with him in 10 days. At the same time, Andie is trying to drive him away!
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “You know, most kids hope for a car for their 16th birthday, not a country!” and “This is between a waltz and a tango.” “It’s a wango?”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented here?
Let me win the lottery
George Clooney
Let me find my true love
Jennifer Aniston
Let me be famous
Julia Roberts
Let me be popular
Tom Cruise
ANSWER: Wishing on a star.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have the initial sounds switched to form new words. For example, “churning bear” is a spoonerism for “burning chair” (note that the pairs do not have to be spelled the same – only sound the same). From the definitions below, can you figure out the spoonerism pairs?
1. Thumper’s cellphone…mis-named nerve.
2. Where to buy a mallard…jammed portal.
3. Grizzly relative…two pin-lovers.
4. Sad iguana…Merlin slam-dunking.
5. Wasp accelerates…Half a six-pack.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. RENNA WILD FOR SOME INCREDIBLE SOLVING! NICE WORK RENNA! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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