WELCOME to Tuesday November 5, 2013. Modern Truths….
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success….. … is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich….. which never works.
If at first you don’t succeed…. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
As soon as you mention something… … if it is good, it is taken…. If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules —- Murphy’s golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late…… the bus is still late.
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don’t have a pen……. If you have a pen, you don’t have paper…… if you have both, no one calls.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker….
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
” On Halloween, a woman from North Dakota says she give overweight trick-or-treaters a letter explaining that sugar is bad for them – instead of giving them candy. Then those kids gave HER a letter back saying, ‘Toilet paper or eggs?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“As baseball wraps up, a new NBA season tips off. It’s the special time when we have baseball, football, and basketball at the same time, the holy trinity of ignoring our families.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study reveals that the average fast-food chicken nugget is almost 60 percent fat. The study also says that the average fast-food customer is almost 60 percent chicken nuggets.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, “Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?”
The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars.”
“I’m sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?”
“Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear.”
“Well, you can’t be disappointed with that!”
“Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars.”
“Incredible… so how come you look so glum?”
“Well, this week…nothing!”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Hey, I’m a paisan, eh?! What do you want me to do — sweat garlic for you? Cook up a pot of ragu? Sing an opera? Lose a war?’
Answer: Running Scared! Chicago police officer Ray Hughes (Gregory Hines) pretends to be his partner, Danny Costanzo (Billy Crystal), in order to dodge a man they think is at the precinct house to serve Danny a summons. Since Ray is black, the man expresses some doubt as to whether he is actually named Costanzo. The above quote is Ray’s response.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘It starts in your stomach. You know, like a tickling? And then it pulls you. The tickling pulls you.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
“Dis” teaser gives clues that describe words containing “dis” in them. The clues do not refer to the words themselves; rather they refer to the word that must be added to “dis”. For example, “Dis limb is very handy” would be “disarm”.
1. Dis is something you might give to someone you respect.
2. Dis is a shortened version of a male name.
3. You would use dis if you didn’t have enough money on you to make a purchase.
4. Dis 1, dis 2, dis 3, dis 4…
5. Dis is a young, unmarried woman.
6. Dis is what you are trying to do to dis teaser!
ANSWER: 1. distribute 2. dismal 3. discredit or discard 4. discount 5. dismiss 6. dissolve
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Suppose you’re in a hallway lined with 100 closed lockers.
You begin by opening every locker. Then you close every second locker. Then you go to every third locker and open it (if it’s closed) or close it (if it’s open). Let’s call this action toggling a locker. Continue toggling every nth locker on pass number n. After 100 passes, where you toggle only locker #100, how many lockers are open?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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