WELCOME to Wednesday November 13, 2013.
THESE ARE ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAM PAPERS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Sometimes I sit for hours weighing the fine distinctions among the words spunk, pluck, nerve, chutzpah, gall and moxie.” –George Carlin
A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies, “No I’m traveling light.”
“As you may know, Thanksgiving began in 1621 when the Pilgrims feasted with the Indians and promised them, ‘If you like your land, you can keep your land.'” –Jay Leno
“What a week for Chris Christie. First they bring back the McRib, then he wins a blue state by a landslide. First time he’s ever won a landslide. He’s caused a few.” –Bill Maher
“Time magazine put Chris Christie on the cover with the caption, ‘The Elephant in the Room.’ And People magazine named him ‘Sexiest Garbage Truck in a Suit.'” –Bill Maher
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.
Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, “Have any of the items you plan to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?”
The young mother replied honestly, “The luggage, no; the children, yes.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Did you know your last name’s an adverb?’
Answer: Johnny Dangerously! Lil Sheridan (Marilu Henner) says this to Johnny Dangerously (Michael Keaton) after he introduces himself. A rather silly movie…but hey, at least it has a theme song by ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic. =)
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘You are not the President. No one who leads so many would kneel so quickly.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:
1. Chris [ ] Hudson
2. Chris [ ] Asimov
3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford
4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton
5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne
ANSWER: 1. Chris Rock Hudson
2. Chris Isaac Asimov
3. Boy George Harrison Ford
4. Elton John Wayne Newton
5. Curious George Michael Jackson Browne
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Fred went to a hardware store in Boston with Alex, Ben, and George. He noted that a hammer cost ten times as much as a screwdriver and a power saw cost ten times as much as a hammer. The storekeeper said that Ben could buy a power saw, George could buy a screw driver and Alex could buy a hammer. Based on this what would the storekeeper let Fred buy?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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