WELCOME to Monday January 13, 2014.
Marketing ….
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me!”
That’s Direct Marketing
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
“He’s very rich. Marry him.”
That’s Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.”
That’s Telemarketing.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour ! her a
drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her
a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m very rich “Will you marry
Me?”
That’s Public Relations.
You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, “You are very rich…”
That’s Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, “I’m rich. Marry me”
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That’s Customer Feedback
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Chris Christie is dealing with a scandal after it was revealed that a top aide shut down access to the George Washington Bridge to get back at a mayor for not endorsing him. Christie was furious when they blocked the bridge. He thought they said they were blocking the fridge.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Chris Christie held a press conference today to address the bridge scandal. He insisted that he is not a bully — and he will sit on anyone who says otherwise.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday, President Obama gave photographers a rare chance to take pictures of his weekly lunch with Joe Biden. Then Biden told his friends, ‘Told you I knew the president.'” –Jimmy Fallon
“New Jersey Governor Chris Christie doesn’t know yet if he’s running for president in 2016. I guess he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.” –Jay Leno
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
“Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘If I find out you’re lyin’ to me, I’m gonna come back and kill you in your own kitchen.’
Answer: Above the Law! Nico Toscani (Steven Seagal) uses this threat on a small-time Chicago crimelord.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Of course you’re confused — you’re wearing my underwear.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
I have a common English phrase. I feed this phrase into a computer translation program. This translates it into a foreign language then back into English again. Unfortunately, because computers do not understand idiom and sarcasm, the phrase has been changed. It now reads:
BLIND, INSANITY.
What was the original phrase?
ANSWER: Out of sight, out of mind
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You have two very hungry termites and two sticks of wood. One stick of wood is 12 inches long and the other is 16 inches long. One termite can eat sticks at the rate of 1 inch every 3 minutes. The other termite can eat 1 inch in 4 minutes. How would you use the termites and sticks to measure 61 minutes?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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