WELCOME to Monday January 27, 2014.
Doctors are priceless….
Let me tell you about my doctor. He is very good.If you tell him you want a second opinion, he will go out and come in again.
He treated one woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.
Another time he gave a patient six months to live. At the end of the six months, the patient hadn’t paid his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
While he was talking to me his nurse came in and said, “Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he is invisible.” The doctor said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
Another time a man came running in the office and yelled, “Doctor, doctor, my son just swallowed a roll of film.” The doctor calmly replied, “Let’s just wait and see what develops.”
One patient came in and said, “Doctor, I have a serious memory problem.”
The doctor asked, “When did it start?”
The man replied, “When did what start?”
I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears. His advice: Don’t answer it.
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases. One said to him, “Doctor, I think I’m a bell.”
The doctor gave him some pills and said, “Here, take these.? If they don’t work, give me a ring.”
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards. The doctor simply said, “Go sit over there. I’ll deal with you later.”
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.
You know, doctors can be so frustrating. You wait a month and a half for an appointment he says, “I wish you had come to me sooner.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“President Obama is giving the NSA new guidelines on gathering data on American citizens. He says the NSA can no longer violate anyone’s constitutionally protected right to privacy. That, of course, will be Target’s job.” –Jay Leno
“According to a new study, smog is drifting across the Pacific Ocean from China and polluting our West Coast. Can’t we make anything in this country anymore?” –Jay Leno
“Here’s something I find hard to believe. Anthony Weiner makes between three and four hundred thousand dollars a year as a political consultant. Anthony Weiner! How bad are you doing in the polls when you start saying to yourself, ‘What would Anthony Weiner do now?'” –Jay Leno
“Target just announced that it is dropping health insurance for part-time employees and they’re blaming it on Obamacare. I guess now if Target employees need to pay for healthcare, they’ll just have to use their customers’ credit cards.” –Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said,
“Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘If I’d been any kind of a leader, I would’ve told you guys this stuff a long time ago. Instead, I was tellin’ you basketball stories.’
Answer: Gung Ho! Hunt Stevenson (Michael Keaton) finally admits to the denizens of Hadleyville that he’s been lying to them for quite some time about the details of his agreement with the Japanese owners of Assan Motors.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Dogs barking. Can’t fly without umbrella.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Can you decipher this rebus:
CY CY
ANSWER: CYCLONE
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the grid below with valid words using the letters: AAEEIIMMPPTT. The grid, when completed, reads the same across as down.
L _ _ _
_ D _ _
_ _ A _
_ _ _ E
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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