WELCOME to Monday February 3, 2014.
Here are a few puns, enjoy:
A mushroom walked into a bar and announced:
“The drinks are on me!”
The bartender said, “Why are you buying everyone drinks?”
“Because I’m a fungi.”
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
Seasoned troopers.
What do you call an unemployed jester?
Nobody’s fool.
How did the butcher introduce his wife?
Meat patty.
Old cashiers never die, they just check out.
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
Old doctors never die, they just lose patience.
Old astronauts never die, they just go to another world.
Old skiers never die, they just go downhill.
Old college deans never die, they just lose their faculties.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell C.
“Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it.
But for some of us there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall
“If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate him/her. Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved upon your heart; if you want to let go of something, if you want to forget, you cannot hate.”
― C. JoyBell C.
“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively”
― Bob Marley
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know how good he is? He is better at this than I have ever been at anything in my life. He’s better at this than you will *ever* be at anything in your life.’
Answer: Searching For Bobby Fischer! One of my favorite movies of all time. Fred Waitzkin (Joe Mantegna) goes off on the grade school teacher (Laura Linney, in one of her first film roles) who has suggested that nurturing his son Josh’s remarkable abilities as a chess player might be interfering with his overall educational development.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Don’t think you’ve bought yourself any time by bringing me here…because you need to remember: I *am* a stranger to you. You have no idea what I’m capable of.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. When God speaks, it is a w___ from the L___.
2 After the fl___, Noah disembarked and st___ on Mount Ararat.
3. If it doesn’t rain today, I will wa___ the garden la___.
4. He was so___ to wo___ his family by arriving home late.
ANSWER: 1. word Lord
2. flood stood
3. water later
4. sorry worry
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You may find fire within me
Though to water I’ve been compared.
You may also find a twinkle
When through my pane you stare.
When of wind I am the calm
The center holding still.
When of you, a different part
My bottom lid, my sill.
You may look into me
only to see through.
You may indeed look out of me
Through my frame of varied hue.
The riddle in three parts
as letters in my name.
The riddle shows you who I am
But tell me just the same.
Who am I?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES ONCE AGAIN TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER SOLVING JOB BANKS! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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