WELCOME to Tuesday February 4, 2014.
The Wrong Bank
Subject: Vanilla Pudding
This is just too funny not to share. Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2, 1999.
Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the internal security system got underway immediately.
The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash and valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes scattered throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe’s combination, and inside they found only a bowl of vanilla pudding.
As recorded on the bank’s audio tape system, one robber said, “At least we’ll have a bit to eat.” The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all the safes were opened.
They found not one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding.
Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach.
The newspaper headline read:
“IRELAND’S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Yesterday Justin Bieber turned himself in at a Toronto police station for an assault charge. There was confusion when he first arrived. They asked him, ‘Hey, little girl, have you lost your mommy?'” -Conan O’Brien
“NSA leaker Edward Snowden was just nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. When Snowden asked where he could pick up the award, the organizers said, ‘Um, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The ratings were very low for the president’s State of the Union address. I think I know why the ratings were low – because it’s the State of the Union address, that’s why next year it will be presented by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.” -Dave Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
This happened to an Englishman in France who was caught on the road drunk.
The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a couple bottles of wine at the reception and a quite few glasses of single malt there after.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to breath test him and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he is going to be arrested.
The Englishman answers, “No sir, I do not! But while we’re asking questions, do you know that this is a British car and my wife is driving…on the other side?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Don’t think you’ve bought yourself any time by bringing me here…because you need to remember: I *am* a stranger to you. You have no idea what I’m capable of.’
Answer: The Negotiator! Chicago Police Department negotiator Chris Sabian (Kevin Spacey) makes it clear to fellow negotiator Danny Roman (Samuel L. Jackson) that the hostage situation Danny has brought about remains extremely dangerous for all involved.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m black, and I’m proud.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You may find fire within me
Though to water I’ve been compared.
You may also find a twinkle
When through my pane you stare.
When of wind I am the calm
The center holding still.
When of you, a different part
My bottom lid, my sill.
You may look into me
only to see through.
You may indeed look out of me
Through my frame of varied hue.
The riddle in three parts
as letters in my name.
The riddle shows you who I am
But tell me just the same.
Who am I?
ANSWER: An eye.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Hidden in each sentence is a word. For example, in the sentence: When I grow up, I want to be a ranger. (Hidden animal) The hidden word is BEAR from “to BE A Ranger”. Now, try to identify the hidden colors in the sentences below:
I agree not to eat all the food.
Bob decided to jump in, knowing that this is his only choice.
The sunset makes Cairo seem magnificent.
Some states ship lumber and coal on canal barges.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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