WELCOME to Monday February 10, 2014.
Classic Deft Definitions – Crisp and Clear
Ant
A busy insect that still finds time to go to picnics.
Adder
Mathematically inclined snake.
Atheism
Non-prophet organization.
Babies
Nature’s way of showing people what the world looks like at 2 a.m.
Baby sitter
A teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.
Buffet
A French word which means “Get up and get it yourself.”
Charisma
That mysterious something that bald, dull billionaires have.
Comic books
The opera of the print media.
Drama
What literature does at night.
Ecstasy
Discovering a second layer of chocolates under the first.
Ego trip
Something that never gets you anywhere.
Emergency numbers
Police station, fire department, and places that deliver.
Eternity
The first 60 seconds of a blind date.
Etiquette
Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.
Fancy Restaurant
One that serves cold soup on purpose.
Fear
Excitement in need of an attitude adjustment.
Great economist
Someone who, tomorrow, is perfectly capable of explaining why what he
forecasted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Kissing
A means of getting two people so close together that they can’t see anything wrong with each other.
Marriage
A friendship recognized by the police.
Mobile phones
The only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest.
Net worth
Fisherman’s income.
Perfectionist
A person who takes great pains and gives them to others.
Pessimist
Someone who complains of the noise when opportunity knocks.
Poise
The ability to continue speaking fluently while the other fellow is picking up the cheque.
Quartet
Where all four think the other three can’t sing.
Real Patriot
The fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
Semiconductors
Part-time band leaders.
Slimming
Living beyond your seams.
Summer vacation
When parents suddenly realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.
Superstition
Dark side of wonder.
Tattoo
Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
Walking
A form of exercise that loses some appeal when it’s done behind a lawn mower.
Workaholic
Someone whose favorite entertainment is Monday morning.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea admitted the band faked playing during the Super Bowl. In his defense, so did the Broncos.” –Conan O’Brien
“The Russians have spent $51 billion on the Olympics – $51 billion. With that kind of money the Yankees could buy themselves a mediocre player.” –David Letterman
“CVS is no longer selling cigarettes. They say, ‘It’s the right thing to do for our customers and our company in their path for better health.’ I go to CVS all the time. If they want to promote better health, maybe they should stop selling Cheese Whiz, Circus Peanuts, Little Debbie jelly rolls and all the ingredients for meth.” –Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Once there was a competition conducted with Scientists from America, France and China.
The Americans reported: “We crossed chickens with cows. And now the new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs.”
On this, Scientists from France came with the report: “We crossed flies and bees. Now, the hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey.”
Chinese gave others run for their money.
They said: “We crossed a melon with cockroaches. And now when you cut this melon, seeds run away by themselves…”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Awww, look — you gave that tall man some flowers.’
Answer: Men in Black! James Edwards III (Will Smith) provides us with an amusing interpretation of a vintage photograph of K (Tommy Lee Jones) befriending an alien.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘And there he goes, up to his room to write the new hit song, ‘Alone In My Principles’!’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
RIDDLE ME THIS
Not born, but from a Mother’s body drawn, I hang until half of me is gone. I sleep in a cave until I grow old, then valued for my hardened gold. What am I?
ANSWER: Cheese!
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
All answers end in sting and the whole word is obtained in the clues below.
eg: A sting that cures fatigue
answer: reSTING
1. A sting that cures hunger
2. A sting that cleans your room
3. A sting that makes you laugh
4. A sting that cooks your meat
5. A sting that spoils your tools
6. A sting that holds your attention
7. A sting that some observe in Lent
8. A sting that cooks are always using
9. A sting that browns your bread
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
The World According to the Eucman! 