WELCOME to Wednesday February 12, 2014.
More Puns……
1. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
2. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
3. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
4. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
5. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
8. If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.
10. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
11. Every calendar’s days are numbered.
12. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
13. When the electricity went off during a storm at a school the students were de-lighted.
14. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
15. He wears glasses during math because it improves division.
16. She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.
17. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
18. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
19. It wasn’t school John disliked it was just the principal of it.
20. It’s better to love a short girl than not a tall.
21. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
22. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
23. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
24. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
25. Old power plant workers never die they just de-generate.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“New York City has this program, stop and frisk. If the cops see anything that they don’t care for, they’ll frisk you. Now, during Fashion Week, they changed that program to ‘stop and embroider.'” -Dave Letterman
“I didn’t learn to ski until I was 45. Skiing makes me feel like a rugged adventurer. The wind on my cheeks, the ice-crusted goggles, those little mini marshmallows in my cocoa.” -Craig Ferguson
“After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, ‘You mean I’ve been eating a dangerous chemical?’ While most people were like, ‘You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
“Because we live in the modern age, women now have choices that are just killing them.
“They can have a job, not have a job. They can be married or unmarried, married with children, unmarried with children, married with children and a job, unmarried with children and a job, unmarried with children and no job, unmarried with children who themselves have jobs, have a job and an au pair who has children, marry the au pair, have the au pair have their children, etc…
“Men, unfortunately, have the same choice we’ve always had: we can work or we can go to jail.” –Tim Allen
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘You wanna be worshipped? Go to India and moo.’
Answer: Quiz Show! Herb Stempel (John Turturro) makes this rather rude comment to his wife Toby (Johann Carlo) when she suggests that he should worship her for all the things she does for him.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know what this is? It’s the smallest violin in the world, playing *just* for the waitresses.’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
My first is in riddle, but not in little.
My second is in think, but not in brink.
My third is in thyme, but not in time.
My fourth is in mother, but not in brother.
My last is in time, but not in climb.
What am I?
ANSWER: The word rhyme.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the middle word. This word should correspond with the first and last word.
1) Red ________________ Bulb
2) Green ______________ Leaf
3) Blue _______________ Ball
4) Silver ______________ Saver
5) Gold _______________ Shaft
6) White ______________ Smart
7) Black ______________ Brain
8) Orange _____________ Pouch
9) Peach ______________ Top
10) Brown _____________ Cookie
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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