WELCOME to Monday March 10, 2014.
Ten Step Guide to Being Handy Around the House:
1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Despite what you may have been told by your mother, praying and cursing are both helpful in home repair… but only if you are working alone.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can… many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it’s electronic, get a new one.
6. Keep it simple: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the “on” switch; or just paint over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have fixed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
10. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Chipotle will begin selling tofu burritos in the New York area. So if you love burritos, and you love tofu…you probably don’t exist.” -Seth Meyers
“They’ve discontinued Moviefone. If you folks are sad, press 1. If you couldn’t care less, press 2. ” -Dave Letterman
“A 10-year-old in Ohio has been suspended after pretending his finger was a gun and aiming it at another student. Just wait until school officials find out he was in possession of nine other guns.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog Skipper had recently died.
“You know,” Mom said, “it’s not so bad. Skipper’s probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God.”
Susie stopped crying and asked, “What would God want with a dead dog?”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.’
Answer: Chasing Amy! Spoken by Holden McNeil played by Ben Affleck. My personal favorite Kevin Smith film.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘If you died right now, I would throw myself under one of my dad’s cement trucks so I could be poured into your tomb.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each of the following words, three letters, indicated by *’s, are missing. Each missing triplet is the name of an animal. Can you fill them in so that each creates a common word?
EDU***ION
PRE***SOR
BR***RY
PY***ID
ANSWER: CAT, CUR, EWE, RAM. Making EDUCATION, PRECURSOR, BREWERY, PYRAMID.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Fred went to a hardware store in Boston with Alex, Ben, and George. He noted that a hammer cost ten times as much as a screwdriver and a power saw cost ten times as much as a hammer. The storekeeper said that Ben could buy a power saw, George could buy a screw driver and Alex could buy a hammer. Based on this what would the storekeeper let Fred buy?
TODAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING FRIDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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