WELCOME to Tuesday April 1, 2014.
The Top 10 Things Overheard In A Tax Preparer’s Office Prior To The Tax Filing Deadline
No sir, the government does not want you to pay your taxes in pennies.
I have a hard time believing that a garbage collector made $150,000 last year so for the last time,
DID YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOURCE OF INCOME!!!
How cute… a tax form done in crayon.
No sir, its do your taxes every year and renew your driver’s license every 4 years, not the other way around.
Just because you talk to your plants ma’am, you cannot, repeat CANNOT list them as your dependants.
No Ms Lewinsky, your oval office “contributions” are not the same as when you check the dollar box at the top of your 1040 form.
I’m sorry, I’m not sure I follow your “Give me an extension and I’ll give you an extension later at my place” argument.
I take it that because you have decided to do origami with your tax form that you’re not receptive to paying your taxes this year.
Just remember the IRS motto, buddy: Screw us now, we’ll screw you later!!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“They’re considering a new 10-cent fee on grocery bags here in New York. My mom said, ‘Who’s laughing at the eight-thousand bags under the sink NOW?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Lululemon is the company that makes yoga pants that are so tight they cut off circulation to the part of your brain that decides how much money is OK to spend on yoga pants.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed.
After I gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs. Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, “Oh, whatever is easiest for you.” With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate and handed it back to me.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘All I gotta do now is find a one legged nun walkin’ a goat, and I win!’
Answer: My Chauffeur! From the scene in the park where Cat Fight and his ‘girls’ attack the ‘blue woman with the blue dog’.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? Basie – ‘Jim, didn’t I teach you anything?’
Jim – ‘Yes, you taught me that people will do anything for a potato.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Take the list of words below and arrange them into 3 sentences that all have something in common. Each word is only used once for each time it appears in the list. Punctuation is not an issue in this teaser in the initial placement of words. Only names are capitalized to start with.
DAD, LET, LETS, LEW, MARGE, MISSES, NO, NORAH, ORDERED, ROSES, SEE, SHARON’S, SIMON, TELEGRAM, TELL, WE’LL,
What are the sentences and what do they have in common?
ANSWER: 1: MARGE LETS NORAH SEE SHARON’S TELEGRAM.
2: WE’LL LET DAD TELL LEW.
3: NO MISSES ORDERED ROSES, SIMON.
All three sentences, when correctly placed, are palindromes. They read the same backward and forward.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
They use me to build castles, but I’m not a brick.
They use me to make hands, but I’m not a finger.
I’m international, and cosmopolitan. I’m very often in Monte Carlo, Las Vegas, Atlantic City and even in Punta del Este.
I’m not alive but I have 81 hearts.
What am I?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
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