by eucman

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Passive-Aggressive-Motivational-Poster

WELCOME to Thursday April 17, 2014.  

Miscellaneous terms………..

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MYTH: A female moth.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “Laughter is an instant vacation.”
–Milton Berle
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
–Napoleon Bonaparte
“The gods too are fond of a joke.”
–Aristotle
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A director is screen testing Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part to, he asks Sly who he would like to be.
Stallone says, “I like Mozart. I want to be Mozart.”
So the Director says, “Very well, you can be Mozart” Then he turns to Arnie and says, “Arnie, who would you like to play?”
And Arnie says, “Ah’ll be Bach!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 
What movie is this quote from???  “I see dead people.”
  
Answer: The Sixth Sense! Said by Cole Sear. 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  “No. Try not. Do or do not.” 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
An elderly pool attendant is starting to get sick of having to open the swimming pool every Monday, so he decides that the pool will remain closed on Mondays from now on. Being of reasonably limited English, he makes up a sign which he hangs from the front gate. What’s special about his sign?
 
NOW NO SWIMS ON MON
 
ANSWER: If you spin the sign upside down it will still read the same thing as it did  
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I am tied up at least once a day
And forced to carry ten nails.
I work diligently without any pay
And follow your many trails.
 
I do not smell very well
But at least I have many eyes.
I have two tongues but never yell
And I’ll bet you know my size.
 
What am I?
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS! Emoji
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji  

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