WELCOME to Thursday May 29, 2014.
Words To Ponder…
Life is just a phase you’re going through…you’ll get over it.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can’t be skinny, let all my friends be fat.
My idea of cleaning the house is sweeping the floor with a glance.
Discover Wildlife! Have Kids!
“Genuine Antique Person,” Been there, done that, can’t remember!
Our policy is to always blame the computer.
Take my advice, I’m not using it!
I love to give homemade gifts… umm, which one of the kids would you like?
By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!
I quit jogging for health reasons. My thighs rubbed together so much
it caught my underwear on fire!
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
There is always one more idiot than you counted on.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“President Obama made an unscheduled stop at a Little League game while he was on his way to a fundraiser. Yeah, because there’s nothing parents love more than their kid’s Little League game getting even longer.” –Jimmy Fallon
“A high school girl has invited Joe Biden to be her prom date. Isn’t that nice? However, her father is refusing to let her go with a guy who can’t really describe what he does for a living.” –Conan O’Brien
“It’s springtime and earlier today Chris Christie closed the George Washington Bridge for a pollen study.” –David Letterman
“The U.S. is accusing Chinese military officials of spying. When asked why they did it, the Chinese officials said it’s payback for all the times your students cheated off the Asian kid.” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and five children. Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt. “Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if …” The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.” The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath: “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other four.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? ‘That’s something we shall have to remedy, isn’t it?’
Answer: Braveheart!
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? ‘Well, looks aren’t the most important thing.’ ‘That’s right, the important thing is he’s stupid,
he’s out of work, and he treats me bad.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, your job is form eight (8) complete words from list A, B, & C. In each list, there are parts of words. Choose one word part from each list (A, B, C) to form the new word.
Example:
CORN + ERST + ONE = CORNERSTONE
List A:
FOR
ANT
EM
BOO
PER
IN
MAT
NO
List B:
CUB
IS
ME
ON
IT
EN
AD
PA
List C:
COPE
THY
DAY
SIC
ATE
RUST
RANG
OR
Answer: 1. FORENSIC 2. ANTITRUST 3. EMPATHY 4. BOOMERANG 5. PERISCOPE 6. INCUBATE 7. MATADOR 8. NOONDAY
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I am partially baked.
I am not completely lit.
I am a portion of the moon.
I am lesser than full wit.
I am a divider of the hour.
I am not a total lie.
I am a sibling through one parent.
Can you guess….what am I???
TODAY’S QUIZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! WONDERFUL SOLVING JOB BANKS! 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. 
The World According to the Eucman! 