by eucman

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, June 10, 2014.    

 
One Liners for Tuesday…. 
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
A day without sunshine is like…, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99% of Lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
OK,….. so what’s the speed of dark?
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A New York lawmaker called and asked, ‘Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?’ I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’ She replied, ‘Well, when I checked in with

 

the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I’m overweight, I think that is very rude?’ After putting her on hold for a minute while I ‘ looked into it’ (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage. 

 

I thought under my breath, a good job she wasn’t going to Show Low airport in Arizona (SOW). 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  ‘Here. It’s all right here in my noodle. The rest is just scribbling – scribbling 
and bibbling, bibbling and scribbling.’
  
Answer: Amadeus! Mozart, who doesn’t need to write his music down.  
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘Babies smell!’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
I beam, I shine, I sparkle white
I’ll brighten the gloom with my light
I’ll mystify and enchant all
I’ll bring out the best in you all
Goofy, bucked, green or gold
Young and charming, wise and old
Sly, cunning, empty some times
Mirthful, uplifting, within the lines
A fleeting glimpse or prolonged show
I’m sometimes sad, sometimes mean
Sometimes I’ll say more than you know
Or betray what you think you’ve seen
Now, if you know me, tell me so
You have me too, you know!
 
Answer:  A smile.
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser you must place a 3-letter word on the dashes to complete a word on the left and to begin another word with those letters on the right.
Example:
e a r _ _ _ m e = e a r T H Y/ T H Y m e
1. f e a t _ _ _ o i c = ?
2. c o u r _ _ _ n d a = ?
3. d i s p _ _ _ o v e r = ?
4. k e e _ _ _ s i s t = ?
5. r u n _ _ _ i c e = ?
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
 

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