by eucman

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Big-Ego

WELCOME to Thursday, June 19, 2014.      

 
True Conversations between Lawyers and Witnesses….
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Trooper
Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
Doctor (1)
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
Doctor (2)
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Really Silly (1)
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
Really Silly (2)
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Really Silly (3)
Gender?
Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?   Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: December twenty fifth.
 
Q: What year?
A: Every year.  
 
Q: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all? 
A: Yes.
 
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? 
A: I forget.
 
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that You’ve forgotten?
 
Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
 
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
 
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that Thursday?
A: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
 
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.Emoji
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and 
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 Erma Bombeck
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Will Rogers
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Dave Barry
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Mignon McLaughlin
I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
Bob Monkhouse
Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
Yiddish Proverb
Life is like an onion. Why is life like an onion? Because you peel away layer after layer and when you come to the end you have nothing.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Jerry Bartle was arrested and put on trial for robbing a local shop at gunpoint. In his wisdom he decided that he would represent himself in court. He appeared to be doing reasonably well until the shop’s owner took the stand to give his evidence.

 

She had identified him immediately as the robber, when Bartle jumped up and yelled, ‘You’re lying! I should have blown your head off!’ He paused, then added, ‘If I had been the one that was there.’

 

The jury found him guilty and Jerry Bartle was sentenced to thirty years imprisonment. 

  

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Spandex…It’s a privelege not a right!’
  
Answer: Hackers! You just gotta love a movie where the character names are ones like: Zero Cool, Acid Burn, Crash Override, Cereal Killer, Phantom Freak, Lord Nikon, and The Plague. The quote was said at Burn’s party.
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘What are you gonna do, bleed on me?’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
 Three 5-letter words,
Anagrams of each other.
One is a cloth,
The second a spot,
The third is at home with the Father.
 
What are the three words? 
 
Answer:  Satin – a silky fabric 
Stain – a discoloration or spot 
Saint – a spirit in Heaven 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What advice is shown below? 
 
BEETROOT 
YEETROOT 
YOETROOT 
YOUTROOT 
YOURROOT 
YOURSOOT 
YOURSEOT 
YOURSELT 
YOURSELF
 
 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
  

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