by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, June 20, 2014.    

 
Wisdom from the Last century………. 
1.    Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
       Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the heck alone.
2.    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3.    It’s always darkest before dawn. So, if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4.    It’s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
5.    We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
6.    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
7.    I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
8.    Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot either!
9.    If you drink, don’t park. Accidents cause people.
10.    Some days you are the bug, and some days you are the windshield.
11.    Don’t worry. It’s only seems kinky the first time.
12.    If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13.    Don’t squat with spurs on.
14.    Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
15.    Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
16.    Never miss a chance to shut up.
17.    Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your mouth is moving.
18.    Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
19.    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
        That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
20.    Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
21.    The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
Great fear is concealed under daring. Lucan
If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love. Princess Diana
Color is my day-long obsession, joy and torment. Claude Monet
It is a matter of shame that in the morning the birds should be awake earlier than you.
Abu Bakr
I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
Michael Crichton
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A lawyer’s dog, runs around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. An angry butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and politely asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” 

 

The lawyer smiles and answers, “Absolutely.” “Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was unleashed and stole a roast from me today.” The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. The butcher, having a feeling of satisfaction, leaves. Three days later, the butcher finds a bill from the lawyer: $100 due for a consultation. 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???   ‘What are you gonna do, bleed on me?’
  
Answer: Monty Python and the Holy Grail! This is an excellent, but odd movie. You either LOVE it or HATE it, there is no in between. The quote was said to the Black Knight as they are trying to pass across the bridge.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from??? ‘How does it feel to be stuffed like a turkey?’  
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
 What advice is shown below?
 
BEETROOT 
YEETROOT 
YOETROOT 
YOUTROOT 
YOURROOT 
YOURSOOT 
YOURSEOT 
YOURSELT 
YOURSELF  
 
Answer: Be true to yourself.
 
BEETROOT to YOURSELF (sound it out)  
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “__, __, and __”. Number 7 is in the form “___, ___, or ___”.
 
Example:
Clue = “Cook, Wine, Drinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”
 
1. Palm, Pool, Protected
2. Deer, Chose, Goat
3. Life, Stork, Prune
4. Bomb, Click, Scary
5. Pup, Cup, Convey
6. Smell, Took, Sandal
7. Spin, Clues, Law
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji
  

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