by eucman

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

my-sleep-number

WELCOME to Thursday, July 17, 2014.       

You Know You’re Too Stressed If…
 
…relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.
 
…you can achieve a “Runners High” by sitting up.
 
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
 
…the Sun is too loud.
 
…trees begin chasing you.
 
…you can see individual air molecules vibrating.
 
…you begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
 
…you wonder if brewing is really a necessary step in the consumption of coffee.
 
…you can hear mimes.
 
…you believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.
 
…things become “Very Clear.”
 
…you ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
 
…you begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
 
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
 
…you keep yelling “STOP TOUCHING ME!” even though you are the only one in the room.
 
…your heart beats in 7/8 time.
 
…David Lynch comes up to you and says: “Hey! Can I film you?”
 
…you and Reality file for divorce.
 
…you can skip without a rope.
 
…it appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
 
…you have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can’t 
quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
 
…you can travel without moving.
 
…antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
 
…you discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
 
…you begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, 
lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.
 
…teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.
 
…you have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
 
…you say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
Johnny Carson
“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
Sam Levenson
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”
Earl Wilson
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”
Bob Hope
“The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”
George Jessel
“Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.”
Author Unknown
“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!”
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity.

When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. 

“Hit him again,” the child said. “He shouldn’t have crawled up there in the first place!” 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? ‘Welcome to America’s Weirdest Home Videos.’
Answer: American Beauty!  
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘It’s great to be young and insane.’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
 In this teaser, you are to start with the word ‘HALF’, and then each time, change a letter to make a new word. You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘BACK’.
 
You must do this in four (4) turns.
 
Good luck.
 
HALF
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
 
BACK
Answer:  HALF
HALE
BALE
BALK
BACK
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What is the link between the following countries?
 
Argentina
Australia
Brazil
Chile
Colombia
Liechtenstein
Madagascar
Slovenia
 
Czechoslovakia also shared this link, although neither the Czech Republic nor Slovakia do individually.
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org., http://www.wcscatering.com. Emoji

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