WELCOME to Friday, August 1, 2014.
I Don’t Want To Be A Doctor For The Following Reasons……………….
If I were a pathologist I’d be in a dead end job.
If I were a biologist I’d be in jeans all the time.
Anaesthesiology would put me to sleep.
Cell specialists are too cultured for my taste.
I can’t stand podiatry.
I can’t see myself as an ophthalmologist.
I’m too old to be a gerontologist.
I would have to be crazy to become a psychiatrist.
I’m told paediatrics is child’s play.
I haven’t got the heart to be a cardiologist.
And they’d see right through me if I went into radiology.
And I really couldn’t face it if I were a dermatologist.
I’m not cut out to be a surgeon.
If I weren’t such a baby, I’d become a gynaecologist.
It’s been drilled into me that I should be a dentist.
I’d rather be a plumber than a urologist.
If I were a proctologist I’d always be behind in my career.
I haven’t got the spine to be a chiropractor.
The chiropractor called Mrs Levy saying, “Mrs Levy, your check came back.” Mrs Levy responded, “So did my arthritis!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places.
He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine.
Sir William Osler
I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.
Mary Chase
My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they’re in August.
Ronnie Shakes
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the
matter-he’s got to just know. Will Rogers
A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’
The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’. Tommy Cooper
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man comes into the Emergency Room and yells . . .’ My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’
As the on-duty doctor I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs – and I was in the wrong one.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? Person 1: “Hold on, how do I cross the border? I never took survival training.” Person 2: “Consider this your course.” Person 3: “Kinda pass/fail, which I always thought was easier.”
Answer: Sahara! This 2005 film, an adaptation of Clive Cussler’s best-selling novel, did semi-well at the box office, but the overall gross was barely enough to cover the cost of the movie. Matthew McConaughey stars as Dirk Pitt, and Steve Zahn co-stars as Al Giordino, two marine engineers who go looking for a famed “Ship of Death”, thought to be the Civil War ironclad C.S.S. Texas, which somehow floated across the Atlantic Ocean and into Mali. Along the way, they join up with Penelope Cruz, a World Health Organization worker investigating the source of an illness that has spread throughout Africa. This discussion is between Rudi Gunn (Rainn Wilson) (Person 1), a third but less important engineer, Dirk (Person 2), and Al (Person 3), where they discuss how Rudi is going to get back to the U.S. from war-torn Mali, to warn his superior officer, Admiral Sandecker (William H. Macy), of the impending pandemic.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? “Badgers? Badgers?! We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
You see me often ladies,
For I am a part of your life.
I sometimes bother babies
But prefer to cause adults strife.
My looks are a sign of your personality.
My strength cannot measure up to yours.
With most people I am there for eternity.
Onto me, water often pours.
Many look to me with pride,
While others wish to change me.
Drifting slowly, my time I bide
Waiting for you to see
That I am just a thing you’re given,
Not something very important.
For I have always been and will forever be dead.
Answer: Hair. It often gets in your face (at least it does to girls).
Some babies are born with it, some are not.
You wash your hair often, and get it changed just as much.
This may sound a little too scientific, but hair is made of dead cells, just like your upper layer of skin.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Find an anagram for the words in Group A. The anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
Group A
1. Dover
2. Quale
3. Harpo
4. Shore
5. Canoe
6. Rebut
Group B
A. Took the wheel
B. Pacific or Indian
C. Root veggie
D. Fifty-fifty
E. Thoroughbred
F. Book Club personality
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. 
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