WELCOME to Monday, August 4, 2014.
REALLY?
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.
If all is not lost, where is it?
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
It was all so different before everything changed.
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
It’s not hard to meet expenses…they’re everywhere.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
‘stewardesses’ is the longest word typed with only the left hand and ‘ lollipop’ with your right.
A ‘ jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: ‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’ uses every letter of the alphabet.
The words ‘racecar’, ‘ kayak’ and ‘level’ are palindromes. They read the same whether you read them left to right or right to left.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
If you want a thing done well, do it yourself.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding.
Diane Arbus
Advertising is the greatest art form of the 20th century.
Marshall McLuhan
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
Russell Baker
I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.
Charles M. Schulz
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A boss asked one of his employees, ‘Do you believe in life after death?’
‘Yes, sir,’ replied the new employee.
‘I thought you would,’ said the boss. ‘Yesterday after you left to go to your brother’s funeral, he stopped by to see you.’
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Badgers? Badgers?! We don’t need no stinkin’ badgers!”
Answer: UHF! “Weird Al” Yankovic stars as George Newman, an unemployed schmuck who acquires a television station (Channel 62) from his uncle Harvey (played by Stanley Brock), who won it in a poker game. With the help of Stanley Spadowski (Michael Richards), George makes Channel 62 the most popular channel on television. However, he soon faces competition from R. J. Fletcher, the head of Channel 8, which had, until now, been the most-watched channel on television. This quote is said by Raul, played by Trinidad Silva, after receiving a shipment of animals for his show on Channel 62, “Raul’s Wild Kingdom”. This quote is a parody of a famous quote from the 1948 film “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”, which, incidentally, was reused for the 1974 comedy “Blazing Saddles” as a take-off of “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? “We’re a long line of Athols.”
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Find an anagram for the words in Group A. The anagram will answer one of the clues in Group B.
Group A
1. Dover
2. Quale
3. Harpo
4. Shore
5. Canoe
6. Rebut
Group B
A. Took the wheel
B. Pacific or Indian
C. Root veggie
D. Fifty-fifty
E. Thoroughbred
F. Book Club personality
Answer: 1. Drove (a) 2. Equal (d) 3. Oprah (f) 4. Horse (e) 5. Ocean (b) 6. Tuber (c)
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What does the following rebus represent?
1. Do Do
2. Dew Dew
3. Due Due
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. 
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