Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 21, 2014.    

Twenty Fabulously Funny Examples of Murphy’s Law…..

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and 

you’ll have to go to the rest room.

2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5.  Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you 

will have a flat tire.

6. Guy’s Variation Rider – If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.

7. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Decree of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.

9. Murphy’s Office Law – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn’t work.

10. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The Starbucks Edict – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.

15. The Conundrum of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

17. Oliver’s Rule of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet. Will’s favorite!

18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

20. Will and Guy’s Law – If you don’t save things on your computer you will, sooner rather than later, delete them.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
My confidence comes from the daily grind – training my butt off day in and day out.
Hope Solo
 
In the Lord’s Prayer, the first petition is for daily bread. No one can worship God or love his neighbor on an empty stomach.
Woodrow Wilson
 
One of the most obvious ways dogs can improve our physical and mental health is via daily walks.
Andrew Weil
 
These days young kids don’t have any place to form an epic adventure. It’s more often in front of the TV screen or a laptop. That’s very hard on them. They’re being taught daily unsocial skills. Facebook is an unsocial skill. It’s so sad. John Lydon
 
You should examine yourself daily. If you find faults, you should correct them. When you find none, you should try even harder.
Unknown
 
It’s a rare moment when we take a break from the tribulations of the daily rat race to reflect on assumptions and values that we casually accept as gospel. Graydon Carter
 
Monotony collapses time; novelty unfolds it. You can exercise daily and eat healthily and live a long life, while experiencing a short one. If you spend your life sitting in a cubicle and passing papers, one day is bound to blend unmemorably into the next – and disappear.
Joshua Foer
 
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 Clara works in the customer service call centre of a national pager company. There, she deals with the usual complaints regarding poor pager operation, as well as the occasional loony caller demanding to be paged less often, more often, or by more interesting people.

A good call came from Arthur, who repeatedly complains that he keeps being paged by ‘Lucille.’  Arthur was told that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him.  ‘She don’t never leave no number, so I can’t call her back,’ Arthur grizzled, unhappily.  After three such calls, someone thought to ask how he knew it was Lucille if she didn’t leave a number.  ‘She leaves her name,’ was Arthur’s triumphant reply.  After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the light bulb came on.  ‘How does she spell her name? Clara politely enquired.  ‘L-O-W C-E-L-L,’ dictated Arthur clearly.  Yet another technical problem solved! 

 

Thursday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘There’s a click before the strike. Listen to the clock.’
 
Answer: The Quick and the Dead! A love scene between Ellen (Sharon Stone) and Cort (Russell Crowe) was actually shot, but the American version of the film does not include it. 
 
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???  ‘Faster, must go faster!’
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following is an advertisement for a common item. The ad agency, however, is trying to entice buyers by making the item sound more impressive than it really is. Can you tell what is being sold here?
 
DEFY GRAVITY!
As you command water – or any liquid – to flow upwards! Could you be tampering with the secrets of the Earth? Your friends will be amazed! Just $1.99.  
  
Answer: The item being advertised is a straw. 
 
Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….
What is the next number?
 
3, 76, 49, 24, 59
 
 
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji 
 

 

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