by eucman

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, September 12, 2014.      

Rules of Life

Rules of Life

  • I can only please one person each day.  Today is not your day.  Tomorrow is not looking good either.
  • Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
  • Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious, wear a white coat and carry a clipboard.
  • I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
  • Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
  • I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
  • My reality check bounced.
  • On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
  • I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
  • Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing them again.
  • Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
  •  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
Samuel Butler
 
Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
 
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce
 
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.
W.C. Fields
 
The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.
James Baldwin
 
The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn’t commit when he 
had the opportunity. Helen Rowland
 
All things are difficult before they are easy. 
Thomas Fuller
 
The least of learning is done in the classrooms.
Thomas Merton
 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 My son, Gareth, an insurance broker in Florida, loves ocean fishing and takes his cell phone along on the boat. One morning we were drifting about ten miles offshore as Gareth discussed business on the phone. Suddenly his rod bent double, and the reel screamed as line poured off the spool.

Gareth was master of the situation. “Pardon me,” he told his customer calmly. “I have a call on another line.”

Thursday Movie  Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘Take it easy.’  ‘I’ll take it any way I can get it.’
 
Answer:  ‘The Bone Collector’  The retort is said by the paralysed Denzel Washington. 
 
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 
quote from???   ‘How’s it hanging?’ ‘Down around my ankles.’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Listo, the leader of a band of assassins, was taken captive by an opposing kingdom. “Give your daggers,” said one of the generals, “Or you are to be executed. But since you killed so many of our knights, we shall give you a small test. You must say a statement. If the statement is true, we burn you on a stake. If the sentence is false, we stab you through the heart. If you do not say anything, you are thrown to the lions. If you say something we can’t verify, you will be forced to drink a cup of hemlock. If it is not a statement or if it is a paradox, we simply toss you into the nearby volcano. We shall give you one hour to ponder.” 
 
What should Listo say? 
 
Answer: “Here are my daggers!”
 
Friday’s  Quizzler is……….
In each group below, the three words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each group.
Example: plo___, tho___, to___ would be plough, though, tough.
 
1. c___, forw___, rew___
2. cr___, p___, sk___
3. b___, d___, g___
 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji 

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