Funny Chinese Proverbs (Repost!)

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch bottom should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse, soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no peace at night.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who pass wind in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

 “Never judge a book by its movie.” 

–J. W. Eagan 

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.” 

–Franklin D. Roosevelt 

“One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.” 

–Larry Gelbart 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out a way to get him out. Finally he decided it was probably impossible and the animal was old and the well was dry anyway, so it just wasn’t worth it to try and retrieve the donkey.  So the farmer asked his neighbours to come over and help him cover up the well. They all grabbed shovels and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, when the donkey realized what was happening he cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, he quieted down and let out some happy brays. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well to see what was happening and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was shaking it off and taking a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he continued to shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, to everyone’s amazement, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.

The moral of this tale is: Life is going to shovel dirt on you. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.  Through applying wisdom every adversity can be turned into a stepping stone.  The way to get out of the deepest well is by never giving up but by shaking yourself off and taking a step up.  What happens to you isn’t nearly as important as how you react to it. 

 

 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  “Hollywood doesn’t want screenwriters so much as

secretaries with a flair for dialogue.”

 

Answer: How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog! If you’ve never seen this movie, see it. It’s one of the funniest and most original films of the year. Kenneth Branagh plays a sarcastic and cranky playwright whose unlikely friendship with a nieghbor’s disabled daughter helps him escape his fear of fatherhood. This quote is one of his many highly saracstic comebacks during the film. 

 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? “You know…for kids!”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

I break, she falls. I break, she falls. Who am I, and who is she?

Answer: I am day, and she is night

 

  

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?

1) ales in Madrid & to refuse javelins

2) sluggish crawl & insane jump

3) very warm poodle & selfish hoarder of specks

4) large cetacean & bundle of toupees