WELCOME to Thursday, October 30, 2014.
A. A. A. D. D.
Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my check (check) book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra check are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered. I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn’t washed.
The bills aren’t paid.
There is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface.
The flowers don’t have enough water.
There is still only one check in my checkbook.
I can’t find the TV remote.
I can’t find my glasses and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.
PS. I just remembered, I left the water running………………………………..
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
‘The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.’ Anonymous
He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams
‘I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.’ Charles Lamb.
‘When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally
present him with a watch.’ R C Sherriff.
‘Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.’ Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.
‘It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.’ Scott Elledge.
‘When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.’ Alexander Graham Bell.
‘Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made.’ William Shakespeare.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Walter and his wife Masie are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser beer and puts it in their shopping cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks Masie. ‘They’re on sale, only $20 for 24 cans Walter replies.
‘Put them back, we can’t afford them’ demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along Masie picks up a $40 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks Walter. ‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife. Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Bud and it’s half the price.’ Walter never knew what hit him. The next thing he heard on the supermarket PA system was: ‘Clean-up on aisle 7, we have a husband down.’
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “He’s with me.” “I’m not “with him” with him, you know? It’s not like…”
Answer: Miss Congeniality! “Miss Congeniality” stars Sandra Bullock as an FBI agent going undercover in a beauty pageant to stop it from being bombed. This quote occurs between Vic Melling (Michael Caine) and Eric Matthews (Benjamin Bratt) as they are entering the pageant. Vic is Gracie’s coach so he gets through security with no problem and to get Eric through he tells security he is “with him”.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this
quote from??? “Are they physically able to survive the trip?” “Personally, I don’t see how they survived the tests.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Here’s a riddle you can solve with ease. You have to think, but if you are wise, Take note of the special words I use.
You must use your ears and not your eyes.
It’s one of a kind, no debt it owes. What’s unique? The answer you must seize. Although it would help to see some jays,
I’m not talking of the birds and bees.
As you search through two not seven seas, Note each line ends like a pair of peas. Don’t wait to answer, there are no queues.
You should know by now, I’m such a tease.
Answer: Each line ends with a word that sounds like double letters. “Peas” sounds like
two p’s. Both “seize” and “seas” sound like two c’s. Here is the full list:
ease = e’s
wise = y’s
use = u’s
eyes = i’s
owes = o’s
seize = c’s
jays = j’s
bees = b’s
seas = c’s
peas = p’s
queues = q’s
tease = t’s
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What does this represent?
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag CIRRUS Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag CUMULUS Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Ag STRATUS Ag
Ag Ag Ag Ag Ag
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. 
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