by eucman

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, December 11, 2014.     

Pondering…….
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called ‘Poles’, why aren’t people from Holland called ‘Holes?’
Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack, anyway?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?  Shouldn’t they be wearing nightgowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, ‘A penny for your thoughts, ‘and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?
 There is no shorter sentence in the English language than ‘I am’.
Readers point out that actually, ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?  Think about it!
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as  ‘4’s’?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
Why do they display pictures of criminals in the Post Office?  What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail ?
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be in my bath and she’d come in and sink my boats. Woody Allen

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West

Biologically speaking, if something bites you, it is more likely to be female. Desmond Morris

But a lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth. George Bernard Shaw

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

The French will eat almost anything.  A young cook, Jean Luc, decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city.

Jean Luc searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits.  None could be found.

Finally, an old priest, Father Pierre, at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits.  Jean Luc successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them.

One restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits.  Jean Luc replied with a smile, ‘I raise them myself, near the cathedral.  In fact, I have … a hutch back of Notre Dame.’ 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?  What movie is this quote from???   ‘Is he dead?’

Answer: The Great Train Robbery! From probably the best film off of a Michael Crichton book, yes that includes ‘Jurassic Park’, this little gem with Sean Connery and Donald Sutherland was directed by Crichton himself.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘Dismount!’

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Died – Ante

2. Laze – Fibre

3. Clock – Lose

4. Font – Heard

5. Snaked – Tripped 

 

Answer:  1. Dined – Ate  2. Blaze – Fire  3. Lock – Close  4. Front – Head  5. Naked – Stripped

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

D

N

A

T

S , D

 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

     

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