by eucman

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

funny-dog-pictures-mcdonalds-humiliation

WELCOME to Wednesday, December 17, 2014.   

Maturity……….. 
I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
As I’ve Matured… I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others — they are more screwed up than you think.
I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.
I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.
I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, which keeps coming back.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Finally, I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity – I enjoy it!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and   

whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

 “Each body has its art…” 

–Gwendolyn Brooks 

“A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.” 

–Jerry Seinfeld 

“I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.” 

–George Burns   

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

The TV game show was really close. One contestant was asked to name 2 of Santa’s reindeer. The contestant gave a sigh thinking that he had finally been given an easy question, “Rudolph and Olive!” 

The host asked the contestant, “We’ll accept Rudolph but can you explain Olive?” 

The man looked at the host and said, “You know, ‘Olive,’ the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names…”  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from??? ‘My name’s Turkish, funny name for an English man, I know.’  

 

Answer: Snatch! Turkish, from writer and director Guy Richie’s second film, ‘Snatch’. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? ‘My name is Ash, and I am a slave.’

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you uncover what each group of three has in common?

1. doughnut

notebook

golf course

2. turtle

peanut

oyster

3. brown

polar

Kodiak

4. cough

tear

rain

5. soap

granola

candy 

Answer: 1. They all have holes  2. They all have shells  3. They are all kinds of bears  

4. They are all kinds of drops  5. They are all kinds of bars 

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Open – Cop

2. Cave – Curt

3. Cares – Pest

4. Salve – Savage

5. Whiled – Spurn

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

       

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