QUOTES OF THE DAY   

 “Sy Berger, the designer of modern baseball cards, has died. He will be laid to rest in a shoe box somewhere in an attic.” -Conan O’Brian

“Yesterday the prime minister of Haiti announced his resignation after several days of protests. Said the prime minister, ‘Haitians gonna hate.'” -Seth Meyers

“Today is the busiest package transporting day of the entire holiday season. UPS today will handle 585 million packages. They don’t deliver them, they just handle them. By the way, if you don’t mail your package today, it will not be destroyed by Christmas.” -Dave Letterman

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: 

“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'” 

One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook?” 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? 

What movie is this quote from???  ‘My name is Ash, and I am a slave.’ 

Answer: Army of Darkness! Good old Ash, the hero from the ‘Evil Dead’ movie series.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this 

quote from??? ‘Neighbors heard them screaming at each other like for two hours, it was nothing new. 

Then they heard the gun go off.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Open – Cop

2. Cave – Curt

3. Cares – Pest

4. Salve – Savage

5. Whiled – Spurn 

Answer: 1. Pen – Coop  2. Carve – Cut  3. Caress – Pet  4. Save – Salvage  5. Whirled – Spun 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

(Thing 1)

I, at the start, am old

Many centuries I’ve been told

Used by the Greeks

For counting techniques

After things were bought and sold

Later is when I became known

As an infinite figure, when shown

You’ve counted my spaces

Over two billion places

And still, my amount is unknown

(Thing 2)

I, too, am not young

I’m almost as old as Thing 1

I’m just a frog

On the natural log

But I can make counting fun

(Thing 1 and Thing 2)

When you combine us two

In the order of Thing 1 and Thing 2

We’ll be a baked treat

That’s painful to beat

Whether cherry, peach, or aloo

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org.