by eucman

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, January 7, 2015.  

Punography Thoughts for the day…………  
 
“One man’s Mede is another man’s Persian”. “Are you Shah ? ” “Sultanly “.
 
She was only a moonshiner’s daughter, but he loved her still .
 
When high heels went out of style, it was a big letdown .
 
If you fall asleep while reading and sunbathing, you’re well red .
 
Dermitologists start their practices from scratch .
 
When you go to the dentist and get braces, you’r eputting your money where your mouth is .
 
What do cats call mice on skateboards ? Meals on wheels .
 
Archeology students who study the plumbing of ancient Egypt are Pharaoh faucet majors .
 
Artificial fish : A plastic sturgeon .
 
Atheists are people with no invisible means of support .
 
Atheism is a non-prophet organization .
 
What do you get when you cross Dracula with a pig ? A hampire !
 
Do turtles wear people neck sweaters ?
 
One surgeon arguing with another : Suture self .
 
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to ? Plymouth Rock !
 
Dieting : The triumph of mind over platter .
 
The explorer came down from the North Pole . When he reached the last Lapp, he knew he was at the
Finnish line .
 
Who comes from down south, is very prejudiced ,and works for Santa Claus ?
Rudolph the redneck reindeer .
 
It’s easy to milk a cow. Any jerk can do it .
 
Ego : I-dolatry , Garlic : A food never eaten by those practicing breath control .
 
Illegal : A sick bird . Thongs . What Thinatra things . Lamb : An animal that gets more sheepish with age .
 
Four Mexicans in quicksand : Quatro sinko .
 
Two silkworms were in a race . They ended up in a tie .
 
There were two weevils who rew up on a farm down south . One was very bright and ambitious, went to
Harvard and MIT and became a famous scientist . The other stayed on the farm and never amounted to anything. He became known as the lesser of two weevils .
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and   

remember whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

 “Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.” –G. K. Chesterton

“Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right.” –Isaac Asimov

“Too much of a good thing is wonderful.” –Mae West

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. 

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” 

“Oh please, Mom,” replied the daughter, “if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘You from the slapaho tribe ain’t you?’  

Answer: John Q! This was said by one of the men in the hospital when another man says that he and his girlfriend were in a car accident and her airbag didn’t work. They didn’t believe him, he really beat her.

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘I know because I never loved him the way that I love you!’

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

And now for more in the tradition of the Vowel-less Knights:

1. Mnds r lk prchts – th nl fnctn whn pn.

2. Bwr f smll xpnss, smll lk wll snk grt shp.

3. Prblms cnnt b slvd t th sm lvl f wrnss tht crtd thm.

ANSWER: 1. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.

Bonus: Thomas Dewar. He played the pipes in 1885, successfully annoying everyone else there.

2. Beware of small expenses, a small leak will sink a great ship.

Bonus: Benjamin Franklin.

3. Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.

Bonus: Albert Einstein.

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

What phrase is represented by the following?

Look kool XtXhXeXrXoXaXdX

 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

         

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